People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

In
life
,
people
work
because they need
money
to live. It's very important we need
money
to survive and there are many
people
who say having lots of
money
is their dream. So,
besides
money
, why do we need to
work
? When we come to
this
world, we don'
t
have any skills to face everything around us. everything is new, and there are too many things we don'
t
know. That's why we need to
work
and expose ourselves to everything. The instructor cultivates more knowledge for himself.
For example
, the job of a teacher is to be a patient person, a guide who guides us on the right path and teaches us knowledge and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Teachers only want us to help the country when we are born. Building and developing cultural traditions to bring hope and faith to the new generation.
For instance
, on the internet, there are soft skills instructors like Facebooker Nguyen Huu Tri who often change the lifestyle of young
people
who think negatively. Having a clear direction and good emotional management, providing methods and solving problems in
life
to help young
people
at difficult ages with
life
problems.
Last
but not least, do some
work
for your joy and passion, so doing
work
you love is quite satisfying. If you don'
t
work
, you will become tired and have no spirit. If you don'
t
do anything, your mind will easily lose memory. When you don'
t
work
, you'll feel bored, which affects your mental health In conclusion,
although
people
need
money
to
work
, apart from
money
, we receive many things at
work
that make us feel more comfortable.
As a result
, we tend to think more openly without too much pressure about
money
. When we are at ease, we humans are free to be creative, thereby bringing many achievements to
life
and enhancing our self-worth.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
You should focus on creating a more logical structure by ensuring a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but you might need to refine them to more clearly indicate the position taken and the overview of main points.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. Avoid generic statements that don't offer concrete or illustrative details.
task achievement
Ensure a complete response to the task by fully addressing the prompt and discussing the reasons people work beyond monetary compensation.
task achievement
Try to develop clear and comprehensive ideas. Refrain from deviating into loosely related content that might obscure the main argument.
task achievement
Provide relevant and specific examples to effectively support your points. The examples should clearly relate to the reasons people work other than for money.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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