Some people think that the Olympic Games is an exciting event and can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
day and age, it is often said that the
Olympic
games
make a contribution to
connect
Change the verb form
connecting
show examples
other
countries
together.
However
, some people argue that the
money
should be spent on other things
instead
of organizing the
Olympic
games
.
This
writer will discuss both views and give my opinion. It is vital
understand
Add the particle
to understand
show examples
that the
Olympic
games
attract many foreigners to participate in watching.
In other words
, they have a lot of chances to meet and communicate with local people or organize the beauty of the nation organize the
Olympic
games
.
As a result
, when citizens have a good view
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
a country, the citizen’s nation will
also
be connected.
For instance
, when the
Olympic
Correct your spelling
Olympics
show examples
game 2020 occurred in Japan, many visitors or fans from abroad
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had a respected view
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
Japan and it
brings
Wrong verb form
brought
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sustainable connection between Japan and other
countries
nowadays.
However
, the
Olympics
do not make any noticeable contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, especially
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
poor. To be more specific, the lives of poor people
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
gained
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
benefits directly from the
Olympics
and are still the same whether the
Olympic
games
appear or not.
Consequently
, it may be useless if we spend too much
money
on organizing these events.
Thus
,
this
is the reason why it is said to be
money
-wasting. In my opinion, the
Olympics
also
do not affect a lot
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the sensitive issues in the world
such
as war,
poverty
Correct word choice
or poverty
show examples
.
Furthermore
, many
countries
utilize the
Olympics
as a tool to revenge or tarnish the image of competitors.
Instead
, that
money
can
used
Add a missing verb
be used
show examples
for
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
show examples
of
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
poor
countries
or
solve
Fix the infinitive
to solve
show examples
the problems in the world. In conclusion,
this
writer thinks the
money
to organize the
Olympic
games
should be spent on other purposes
due to
unnoticeable
Correct article usage
the unnoticeable
show examples
contribution it brings.
Therefore
, it should be taken into account by the world’s organization about eliminating or not.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are clearly separated and that each paragraph addresses a single main idea to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on your points with specific and detailed examples to strengthen the effectiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Clarify the connection between your concluding statements and the preceding arguments to provide a more compelling conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines both sides of the argument, providing a good start for the discussion.
relevant specific examples
You successfully included relevant and specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more persuasive.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical flow that guides the reader through your arguments, demonstrating a fair level of coherence.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: