Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Nowadays, the number of humans trying to
cure
themselves by using natural medicines
is increasing from time
to time
. In my opinion, tit
means negative development for the country.
First of all, the choices of alternative Correct your spelling
it
medicines
make them go back to the last
century. It can look at how people
treat themselves for cures for illnesses using herbs
. It was because there was little medicine
and available doctor in their place. In this
era, the number of doctors and health facilities like hospitals or clinics spread in villages and big cities. The medicine
has many kinds for different kinds of illnesses. That can be a choice by the doctor. Moreover
, nowadays, there are kind
of doctors Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
specialists
that can Correct word choice
and specialists
cure
the
illness by their specialist.
Correct article usage
apply
Second,
the time
of cure
the body takes a longer time
. The reason is that herbs
have slow reactions in the cure
of illness. It means somebody who needs more care by their sick need more time
despite the bacteria or viruses spreading in the body and becoming sicker. On the other hand
, the development of medicine
has become more patent and can cut off viruses or bacteria more quickly than herbal medicines
.
On the other hand
, this
can also
have positive development because people
have more knowledge to indicate the disadvantages of chemical medicines
. They do not want the medicines
to destroy the tissues of their body and cause side effects for a long time
. It makes people
search with their knowledge against the bacteria or viruses that spread by using herbs
because there are many research studies that also
give advantages to using herb
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
herbs
herbs
became the worst to cure
illness if people
have heavy sickness. This
is because herbs
are not too qualified and take a longer time
than chemical medicine
. The benefit of herbs
is not as much as chemical medicine
given by the doctor.Submitted by sastyoke on
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Task Response
The essay presents some relevant points but lacks sufficient development and support for the ideas presented. The main points are not effectively supported with specific examples and arguments, and the essay lacks a clear line of reasoning. More focus and development on the topic is needed to improve task response and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat unclear and the ideas are not effectively connected. The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the progression of ideas is not smooth. Use of cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases can help improve coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a basic level of vocabulary and language use, but lacks variety and sophistication. Using a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions can enhance lexical resource and make the essay more engaging and persuasive.
Grammatical Range
There are noticeable grammatical errors throughout the essay, including errors in tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. More attention to grammar and sentence construction is needed to improve grammatical range and accuracy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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