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Band 2.5

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some solutions?

#threats #humans #face #st #century #sea #levels #rise #rates
In
this
 century, Global
warning
Correct your spelling
warming
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 is one of the worst threats
in
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to
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 mankind and
also
having
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has
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 various negative impacts on the sea level
due to
 the rising heat. In
this
 essay, I will be elaborating on various
problems
 and
also
 try to solve the
problems
 associated with it
To begin
 with, one of the biggest
problem
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problems
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 is
thinning
Correct article usage
the thinning
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 of the Ozone layer.
This
 layer is essential in maintaining the temperature on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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,
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
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 it might have negative impacts on sea levels.
Secondly
, the growth of factories around the world cutting our
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
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 for more production of goods can lead to various
problems
 associated
to
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with
show examples
 global warming.
Moreover
, the depletion of the ozone layer could be solved by planting more and more trees,
this
 might lead to a better environment, which can
also
 help in decreasing the rising sea levels.
Furthermore
,
by
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apply
show examples
having a proper waste management process in factories and stopping the ocean water getting polluted from
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can really help
in
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with
show examples
 the
problems
 that are associated
to
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with
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 global warming.
To conclude
with
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apply
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, Global warming is one of the biggest threats
human's
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humans
human
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 have faced, but there can be various measures that they can take to have a better environment to live in
Submitted by harshveermangat141 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are not adequately supported.
task achievement
The response is somewhat relevant but lacks thoroughness and specific examples. The ideas are not fully developed.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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