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Writing Samples
Band 8

Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this

#scientists #activities #health #millions #people
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In modern society, the consequences of unhealthy lifestyles are warned by several experts.
Although
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people
Use synonyms
 are aware of health importance, they find it difficult to stop doing unhealthy
activities
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 which leads to a higher risk of health problems and serious living effects.
This
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 essay will discuss several causes and suggest some solutions to tackle
this
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 issue. There are different reasons to explain
this
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 problem.
This
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 can be,
firstly
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, explained by the fact that
people
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 are too engrossed in work to forget how important health is. Many adults not only work eight hours per day, but
also
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 they continue to do other part-time jobs with a stable income desire.
Therefore
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, they have trouble balancing work and personal
activities
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. Sometimes, addressing big workload requirements leaves them with hardly any choice but to do unsound
activities
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,
such
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 as an irregular sleep cycle and erratic eating habits.
Secondly
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, once
people
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 are addicted to unhealthy habits, it is difficult for them to regulate.
For example
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,
people
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 with smoking habits cannot reduce their dependence on cigarettes
due to
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 their high addictiveness.
Besides
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, it is
also
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 unable to bring
people
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 with a sedentary
lifestyle
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 to be more active because doing exercises or other physical
activities
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 seems to be bothering them. To solve
this
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 problem, solutions are presented suggested as below. One of which is that a healthy
lifestyle
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 should be promoted in the working and life environment.
For instance
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, educating and self-educating about the influences of
lifestyle
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 should be stimulated by launching online competitions involving healthy
activities
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.
In addition
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, employees should apply smart tools to manage and build scientific working schedules.
Nonetheless
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, companies are suggested to raise bonuses or support for difficult family circumstances so that they can feel less pressure to have better incomes.
On the other hand
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, an unhealthy
lifestyle
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 should be strictly criticized in the media as a method to raise awareness of its consequences. In conclusion, there are indeed various causes regarding unsound
activities
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, yet, they can be solved once measures are enlisted imperatively.
Submitted by phuonggdungg232 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, instead of stating that people work long hours, provide statistics or personal stories to illustrate this point.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that your ideas are connected and transition smoothly from one to the next.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases. This can help to make your essay more interesting and engaging to the reader.
grammatical range
Work on using a variety of sentence structures and tenses to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures. Additionally, be mindful of subject-verb agreement and article usage.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • chemical reactions
  • dependency
  • social and cultural norms
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • temptations
  • implementing policies
  • taxing
  • supportive environment
  • accountability
  • unhealthy habits
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