Trillions of dollars is spent on space exploration globally! Some people opine that it should be stopped and the money should be spent for the well-being of people. To what extent do you agree? (Do you agree or disagree?)

Space has always been a mystery since time immemorial. There has been tremendous advancement in all spheres of life in the
world
owing to the technological boom in general,
spatial
Correct word choice
and spatial
show examples
exploration
in particular
. Some
people
are not in favour of exploring the cosmos as it needs a great deal of
money
having a view of expending the amount for the prosperity of the
world
in all respects. I partially agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the statement 
due to
several reasons. Exploring the cosmos has many advantages. The satellites orbiting the earth immensely help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind in one way or the other. First and foremost, most natural calamities can now precisely be predicted
thus
evacuating
people
from the danger zone.
For example
, a devastating storm called 'Okhi' hit
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
coast a couple of years ago.  Fortunately, it was accurately foreseen, and a massive disaster could be avoided. Thanks to the advanced technology!
Secondly
, there has been considerable advancement in communication because of spatial experiments
coupled with
sophisticated technology. Today,
people
are able to keep in touch with their dear ones using communication gadgets with the help of the Internet.
Last
but not least, cartography-the practice of making maps-has been made much easier and more accurate.
As a result
, international boundaries are clearly demarcated apart from spotting natural resources!
On the other hand
, it goes without saying that astronomical experiments have always had several drawbacks too.
Initially
, a lot of
money
is spent on every mission but if they fail,  the
money
is lost.
Next,
the international space station, a global initiative costs the
world
a fortune. Trillions of amount
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
pumped to keep it intact.
In addition
, it is quite unfortunate that some astronauts have lost their lives
due to
several mishaps! To exemplify, 'Kalpana Chaula' an Indian astronaut was killed in a disaster
along with
her co-astronauts.
Furthermore
, even poor nations try to compete with their rich counterparts in
this
arena. A huge pile of electronic waste is being piled up globally  apart from the associated radiation.
Last
Add a comma
Last,
show examples
of all, it is really exorbitant(very expensive) to make a full-fledged astronaut apparently! All these factors could put a country's economy at risk. By and large, astronomical experiments have always been indispensable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind.
However
, the
money
pumped into
this
sphere must be used judiciously as there are millions of
people
struggling to make
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ends meet all over the
world
.
Submitted by shahinka.687 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are well-developed to provide a clear framework for the essay.
lexical resource
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource score. Consider using more varied synonyms and academic vocabulary.
grammatical range
Work on varying sentence structure and using more complex sentence forms to improve grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: