Trillions of dollars is spent on space exploration globally! Some people opine that it should be stopped and the money should be spent for the well-being of people. To what extent do you agree? (Do you agree or disagree?)

#trillions #dollars #space #exploration #people #opine #money

Space has always been a mystery since time immemorial. There has been tremendous advancement in all spheres of life in the

world

owing to the technological boom in general,

spatial

Correct word choice

and spatial

show examples

exploration

in particular

. Some

people

are not in favour of exploring the cosmos as it needs a great deal of

money

having a view of expending the amount for the prosperity of the

world

in all respects. I partially agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

the statement

due to

several reasons. Exploring the cosmos has many advantages. The satellites orbiting the earth immensely help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mankind in one way or the other. First and foremost, most natural calamities can now precisely be predicted

thus

evacuating

people

from the danger zone.

For example

, a devastating storm called 'Okhi' hit

Indian

Correct article usage

the Indian

show examples

coast a couple of years ago. Fortunately, it was accurately foreseen, and a massive disaster could be avoided. Thanks to the advanced technology!

Secondly

, there has been considerable advancement in communication because of spatial experiments

coupled with

sophisticated technology. Today,

people

are able to keep in touch with their dear ones using communication gadgets with the help of the Internet.

Last

but not least, cartography-the practice of making maps-has been made much easier and more accurate.

As a result

, international boundaries are clearly demarcated apart from spotting natural resources!

On the other hand

, it goes without saying that astronomical experiments have always had several drawbacks too.

Initially

, a lot of

money

is spent on every mission but if they fail, the

money

is lost.

Next,

the international space station, a global initiative costs the

world

a fortune. Trillions of amount

Change the verb form

are

show examples

pumped to keep it intact.

In addition

, it is quite unfortunate that some astronauts have lost their lives

due to

several mishaps! To exemplify, 'Kalpana Chaula' an Indian astronaut was killed in a disaster

along with

her co-astronauts.

Furthermore

, even poor nations try to compete with their rich counterparts in

this

arena. A huge pile of electronic waste is being piled up globally apart from the associated radiation.

Last

Add a comma

Last,

show examples

of all, it is really exorbitant(very expensive) to make a full-fledged astronaut apparently! All these factors could put a country's economy at risk. By and large, astronomical experiments have always been indispensable for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mankind.

However

, the

money

pumped into

this

sphere must be used judiciously as there are millions of

people

struggling to make

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

ends meet all over the

world

Submitted by shahinka.687 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

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lexical resource

Utilize a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource score. Consider using more varied synonyms and academic vocabulary.

grammatical range

Work on varying sentence structure and using more complex sentence forms to improve grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

397 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Trillions of dollars is spent on space exploration globally! Some people opine that it should be stopped and the money should be spent for the well-being of people. To what extent do you agree? (Do you agree or disagree?)

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Getting a promotion is one of the biggest drives for people to apply themselves and work hard in the modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotions? What other factors influence people to work hard?

some say that children should do unpaid community work, and some say it is not important for their development. How much do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.