Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.

Nowadays, people are able to gain knowledge through
media
thanks to globalization. The
internet
allows everyone, including
children
, to consume everything from everywhere easily. Unfortunately, the
internet
itself is a free space, which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
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the
show examples
possibility to provide
a
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apply
show examples
harmful content
such
as
violence
.
Therefore
, I strongly believe that parental methods and peer groups play a significant role
for
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in
show examples
children
's mindset and response towards
violence
issues.
However
, there are several things that we need to address regarding
media
management rules.
To begin
, parental
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
and family dynamics are critical to
children
's mental development. As their first source of education,
children
are relying
Wrong verb form
rely
show examples
on their
parents
' guidance in every part of their early stage of life.
For instance
, based on
UNICEF
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a UNICEF
show examples
survey in 2020,
children
's
problem solving
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problem-solving
show examples
styles are 97% influenced by their
parents
' approach. In the case of
media
consumption,
parents
play a pivotal role
as
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in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safeguard
Replace the word
safeguarding
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
. In fact, the
internet
itself is just a tool so the decision in
whats
Correct your spelling
what's
show examples
good and bad in
media
has become the user's responsibility.
Thus
,
parents
should keep an eye on what their
child
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children
show examples
consume
everyday
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every day
show examples
through social
media
.
In addition
, peer groups
also
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are also
show examples
essential in how
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
perceive and
response
Replace the word
respond
show examples
to some
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
Therefore
,
parents
need to ensure that their kids are surrounded by a good environment.
However
, it is a fact that the governments have a responsibility to provide a safe space in
media
. In Indonesia,
this
issue has turned into
priority
Correct article usage
a priority
show examples
since the illegal
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
,
such
as
violence
,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
For instance
, in 2007, bullying and
violence
among
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
rose significantly in Indonesia.
Therefore
, the Ministry of Telecommunication tried to combat those issues and created a policy that several illegal websites and games which are containing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that parental method and peer groups are the main factors
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
how
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
response
Replace the word
respond
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
several issues.
However
, it should be highlighted that the governments
also
have a responsibility to ensure that the
internet
is a safe space for the citizens.
Submitted by floriehendr on

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introduction
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paragraph structure
Organize your ideas into well-structured paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting sentences.
development of ideas
Make sure to elaborate and extend each main point with clear explanation and specific examples.
cohesion
Maintain a logical flow throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices (linking words) to improve the reader's ability to follow your arguments.
conclusion
Include a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position. It should be a natural end to your essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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