The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is sometimes argued that the most significant target of science should be to advance human lives. Personally, I completely agree with that statement for several reasons which will be given out in

this

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essay. There are various reasons why I would argue that the target of it is promoting better lives for humans.

To begin

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with, there are obviously a number of motives surrounding

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idea scientific advancements would lead to improvements in healthcare. By

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I mean, numerous people have suffered from various kinds of diseases, and breakthroughs invented several types of medicines and techniques to cure the illness.

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, the pandemic that occurred in 2019, known as COVID-19, saw a rapid increase in the number of deaths, which was promptly addressed through the development of vaccines. That’s why science plays an important part in the lives of humans.

Secondly

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, a special consideration is that modern machines would change the means of communication, transportation, and subsistence. The main basis is probably because daily life becomes more convenient and efficient through the use of smart devices, like automatic vehicles, phones and several more.

For instance

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, by using smartphones, people easily engage in conversations and keep in touch with others living in different regions or pay water bills with only one touch.

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, the benefits of advancements in science contribute to a sustainable and substantial society.

To sum up

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, I strongly believe that the crucial goal of it should be to enhance the community’s life because it makes developments in healthcare and daily needs.

Submitted by miatr.work on Mon Oct 30 2023

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Task Achievement

The candidate demonstrates a clear position throughout the response with relevant examples well included in support of the main points. However, inclusion of a wider range of opinions/topics would polish the task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs and linking words are used accurately. However, some ideas could be more effectively connected for better logical progression. Also, there is a necessity to be more cautious about maintaining cohesion within the paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

There is good use of vocabulary with minor errors. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to give more precision to your message.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A mix of simple and complex grammatical structures is observed, but with some inaccuracies. Work on correcting these minor errors as well as enhancing the richness and complexity of your sentence structures.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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