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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather that to work for a company or organisation what cloud be the advantages of being self employed

#people #self- #work #company #organisation #cloud #self
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These days and age the vast majority of people prefer to provide jobs for themselves and be business leaders rather than hire an employee. The origins of
this
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 situation seem to stem from several factors. The government supports high - education by subsidising facilities to encourage them to run a business.
Therefore
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, individuals will find far more career progression and job prospects by being an entrepreneur.
For example
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, the government lends them money and makes financial payments.
Moreover
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 , self-employment offers the creative freedom to innovate and try out your ideas. The freedom of creativity is another thing to love about being self-employed. The creative liberties that a self-employed person can take are controlled by themselves.
On the other hand
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,despite having some advantages in choosing self-employment like having good family time, able to maintain good physical and mental health,there are downsides too. Self-employed is prone to stress. Aside from that, we may lose our motivation and it may affect our work results.
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for
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For
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 instance the quality is affected and may be in crisis.
Furthermore
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 no employee benefits, unpredictable income,potentially long working hours,increased responsibility and pressure,lack of structure,
potential
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and potential
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 for loss. All in all , having weighed up all the arguments, people tend to have their own brand
due to
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 the government’s encouragement on the one hand, and the destruction of their work and life balance as an employee
on the other hand
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.
Therefore
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, with individual interest, there are pros and cons of working as a self employer. When
this
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 happens.
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic and provides some relevant points, but it lacks depth and development. The response could be more comprehensive and focused.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks coherence in some parts, with unclear progression of ideas and underdeveloped connections between sentences and paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in clarity and relevance to the topic.
lexical resource
There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but it is not always accurate or appropriately used. The essay could benefit from more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas effectively.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammatical structures, but there are frequent errors and inaccuracies. It would be beneficial to pay more attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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