IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be oppened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

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Due to
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 the higher demands of fossil fuels, a certain segment of individuals
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
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 that we must explore the untouched destinations of the earth in search of energy sources. Though there is a number of supporters of
this
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 affirmation, I stand against
this
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 and the following paragraphs of
this
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 essay will analyze two factors which contribute to my opinion.
To begin
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 with, exploring virgin territories may outcome
to
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in
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 double the environmental pollution.
As a result
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 of the complex mechanisms that we use to extract oil from the fossils, we have already created a number of problems in nature.
For example
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, a recent documentary programme which was telecasted on the Discovery Channel revealed
about
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apply
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an American oil pump resulting in to increase in the temperature in the sea waters, and now it has an effect melting down the glaciers at the North
pole
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Pole
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.
Hence
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, if we use the existing technologies to explore untouched destinations, that will definitely outcome in polluting nature.
Secondly
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, these invasions will destroy the unidentified creatures who live in these areas.
For instance
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, there was a report in the international media, about a hydropower plant, in Mexico that resulted in the destruction of a number of indigenous creatures who lived around that area. If it can happen in Mexico, there is no doubt that it will not happen in the alien soils.
Therefore
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, we must not consider exploring these grounds for
sake
Correct article usage
the sake
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 of our future generations.
To conclude
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, I reiterate that we must not destroy unexplored areas in
searching
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search
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for
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of
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 fuel as it will result
to
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in
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 double the environmental pollution and the extinction of unknown animals.
Instead
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 of doing these, we must put our efforts
to find
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into finding
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 more alternative eco-friendly energy sources to protect our mother nature.

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Task Response
Ensure that the response directly addresses the task prompt and presents a clear position. The essay should discuss both sides of the argument and provide a balanced evaluation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas logically with clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that ideas are linked using appropriate cohesive devices such as transition words and pronouns.
Lexical Resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and demonstrate a more precise selection of words to convey meaning. Use a wider variety of grammatical structures and idiomatic expressions to enhance lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Use a wider range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and a mix of simple and compound sentences. Ensure that verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation are used accurately.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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