In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

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Nowadays, criminal offences are increasing overnight in most of the countries. In

this

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essay, I will describe the main reasons for committing crimes and provide some solutions. There are a number of reasons why violation increases day by day in society. One possible reason is that a lack of police on the street can result in more opportunities for

crime

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. These kinds of situations are being sought out by criminals who are concerned for society or an individual.

As a result

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people

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do not feel comfortable when they are staying at home are going to outside places.

Secondly

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, poverty encourages some

people

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to turn to

crime

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in order to pay bills and meet family requirements or responsibilities.

In addition

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, unemployment

also

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leads to

crime

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due to

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financial pressure that’s why

people

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are very much committed to doing

crime

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On the other hand

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, there are many solutions to overcome these kinds of situations.

Firstly

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, to reduce the

crime

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rate, the government should increase social benefits to alleviate poverty. If the government train offenders in prison to develop new skills, it might bring positive feedback in the future.

Secondly

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, seeing more police officers on the street might put

people

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off criminal behaviour.

Moreover

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, harsher punishment can deter

people

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from

crime

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. Only harsher punishment decreased criminal offence significantly.

Therefore

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, Offenders are determined to never do

this

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kind of activity. In conclusion, the government should handle these kinds of crimes strictly by imposing hard lines or recruiting many police officers to secure the country and

also

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have to provide job offers or pay money as a gift for doing something else.

Submitted by ielts on Wed Nov 15 2023

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coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are not well developed and lack clarity and coherence.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant examples and ideas, but the response could be more comprehensive and specific to the task question. The conclusion could summarize the main points better.

grammatical range

There are issues with sentence structure, vocabulary choices, and punctuation. Complex sentences are attempted, but with inaccuracies and errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic disparity
propensity
recidivism
deterrent
rehabilitative
judicial system
corruption
socioeconomic
alienation
stigmatization
decriminalization
enforcement
gentrification
preemptive measures
intervention strategies

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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some Universities in less developed countries hire professors from well-known universities to improve the quality of education. Some believe that this is not a perfect solution and there are other ways to enhance the quality of education. DO you agree or disagree?

Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some children speand a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?