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Band 6.5

IELTS Writing task 2 with the following topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays? Write an essay with at least 250 words

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Nowadays, there are many different types of
music
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 genres all around the world.
Music
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 can stimulate the mind. There are many healing attributes in
music
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 that one can listen to and
get benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit from
show examples
. The melodies or themes, the harmony, the driving or relaxed rhythm, and many other factors can all be considered. Every country recognizes two sorts of traditions: traditional and internal. Traditional
music
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 connects
people
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 to their cultural roots,
whereas
Linking Words
 international
music
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 promotes globalization. Primarily,
music
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 helps to uplift the moods of
people
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. It
also
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 helps
people
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 unwind from the monotonous daily routine. Many individuals use
music
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 as a kind of therapy to cure mental illnesses and reduce anxiety.
Music
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also
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 helps individuals learn and grasp the whole range of human emotions and experiences.
Besides
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 that,
music
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 at celebrations, festivals, and gatherings, generates a sense of pleasure and satisfaction.
Music
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 has been seen as a form of human expression and enjoyment since the dawn of time. There are several different types of
music
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 practised and listened to in the world.
However
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, some
people
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 believe that traditional
music
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 is compelling. Traditional
music
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 is said to have its origins in culture and expresses a community’s history, customs, and thoughts. Indian classical
music
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,
for example
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, represents the
people
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’s faith and is revered as holy as religion.
In contrast
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, international
music
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 is solely for enjoyment. Traditional
music
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 connects a man to his cultural history, but international
music
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 promotes globalization, and,
as a result
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, one’s cultural identity may be lost.
Overall
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,
music
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 is essential for human beings as it provides the tired mind a healthy entertainment and helps release work pressure. Despite the fact that international
music
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 entices
people
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 and is a fantastic source of entertainment, traditional
music
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 has roots in one’s culture.
Therefore
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, it can help one learn more about their country and its foundations.
Submitted by namnguyen3092 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure there is a clear introductory paragraph that sets the context for the essay and a concluding paragraph that summarizes the key points and answers the essay question directly.
complete response
Develop a clear position throughout the response and avoid any contradictory statements to maintain task achievement.
logical structure
Use a broader range of cohesive devices to link ideas across and within sentences for better coherence and cohesion.
supported main points
Support main points with specific examples or further explanation to give your essay depth and detail.
clear comprehensive ideas
Expand on your main ideas with greater depth and more elaborate argumentation to fully address all parts of the task.
relevant specific examples
Introduce more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points and show a deeper understanding of the topic, which enhances task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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