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Band 7.5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation
There has been a growing belief that the advancement of communication technologies and transportation possibly can make
people
work
 and live anywhere in the world. Despite some negative aspects like lack of sense of belonging with the other workmates, I believe that the advantages
such
 as a lot of opportunities and networking
also
 saving money by living in town
while
 getting a job based on big city wages largely outweigh the disadvantages. There are several positive effects of flexible
work
 and living anywhere, particularly as digital nomads we can get a lot of opportunities and networking benefits. It will increase chances to collaborate and do double jobs that can enhance our performance. Most
people
 in Canggu, Bali live there
while
 working at multinational companies and getting involved with local
people
.
Moreover
, living anywhere can make us live more economically as spending living costs in town
while
 we are working based on capital minimum wage or by abroad currency.
For example
, we can live in Jogja as a city with minimal living spending
while
 getting jobs with higher value based in Jakarta or New York salary.
On the other hand
, the
work
-from-anywhere method can lead to
work
 alone and be individualistic, potentially causing damage as a lack of sense of belonging among other workmates.
However
, even though
work
 remotely, we will still need a team to collaborate.
People
 who
work
 in IT tend to
work
 individually and just focus on the bugs or problems of software and websites, which will still need to be done as a team with other backend and frontend engineers. In conclusion,
although
 there are some negative aspects associated with the freedom to
work
 and live anywhere, I maintain that the benefits significantly outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay follows a logical structure, there are areas where thoughts could be more coherently connected. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices could improve the flow of the essay. Furthermore, ideas need to be fully elaborated with clear and explicit linking between the main topic and supporting details.
task achievement
The task is completed with a clear position throughout the response. However, to enhance the task achievement score, make sure to develop all parts of the argument equally, cover all aspects of the prompt more thoroughly, and avoid overly generalized statements. Dedicating more focused paragraphs to contrasting viewpoints before refuting them would strengthen the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication technology
  • transportation
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • freedom
  • work and live
  • development
  • increased job opportunities
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • cultural exposure
  • diversity
  • economic growth
  • globalization
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • loss of community
  • sense of belonging
  • expensive cost of living
  • housing
  • strain on infrastructure
  • resources
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