IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Your car is hired from a company and while you are driving on holiday, you have a small accident. You will have to write a report to the company to explain it. You need to explain the following: A)When and where you hired it? B)Describe how the accident happened? C) What kind of action did you take after the accident?

#car #company #holiday #accident #report #b #c #action
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a regular customer of your car rental company. Recently, I hired an automobile to spend my holidays in Windsor. I took a motor from your Brampton location
last
 Friday to enjoy my vacation for two weeks. I am writing
this
 letter to give you the information about the incident. In the morning time, I went to see the lake view which was on the bank of Detroit City. But there was a car driver who crossed the red light and hit the driver's side of my automobile in the intersection. The accident took place on Monday near the University of Windsor.
In addition
, the damage was not major and I called the police immediately so that they could decide who had to pay for the accident.
Moreover
, the police informed the second party that it was his mistake and he had to provide the insurance details.
Lastly
, the police established the other driver's responsibility for the accident, and the second party's insurance company was informed. I request you to please provide me with another vehicle as
this
 car will take time to repair so I will finish my holidays and will come back to Brampton safely. Yours faithfully, LS
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the report is adequate but could be improved. Use clear paragraphing to better organize the sections on the hiring details, the accident description, and the actions taken.
coherence cohesion
The introductory and concluding paragraphs are present, yet they could be enhanced by providing a clearer overview and stronger concluding statement that reiterates the main points and next steps.
coherence cohesion
Main points could be supported by more detailed accounts or descriptions to enrich the qualitative information of the report.
task achievement
The response is mostly complete but would benefit from more varied sentence structures and fine-tuning the transitions between ideas for easier reading flow.
task achievement
While the ideas are clear, they are slightly repetitive. Introduce a wider range of expressions to convey the same points for a more sophisticated touch.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is commendable, enhancing the credibility of the report. Maintain this level of detail where relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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