Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there is a growing tendency for communities in urban areas to prefer to move to rural spaces. I personally agree with the view that living in the countryside will have its advantages.
Everybody knows that living in the countryside is what most society want to do. The benefit of living in a location that has a healthy environment is that the air is better than in the
city
due to
the condition of the area. Another special consideration in this
case is that the location is far away from the business district where the folks work. For example
, crowds who endeavour in the city
must spend a long time on the way in order to arrive at their home.
The other reason is that society in the country would better manage their stress. The population who live in the city
have a probability of getting stressed more because of the pressure in the enterprise. It can be argued that nation who live in rural spaces are happier and more comfortable than those in urban range. For instance
, the public in the big city
has a risk of getting a disease such
as stroke or heart disease because the industry environment needs them to push themselves to get it. Consequently
, the crowd who effort in the city
need to control themselves.
In conclusion, I believe that the population who live both in the city
and the countryside have a consequence of their choosing. So, folk should know their motivation and goals for their lives and what the best choice is.Submitted by tanvir0507 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay attempted to address both sides of the argument but lacked depth in exploring both viewpoints. The writer's opinion was not fully clear, and examples used to support arguments were vague and not sufficiently developed.
coherence and cohesion
There is some effort to logically structure the essay, however, transitions between ideas can be improved. The introduction and conclusion were present but underdeveloped. Future essays should include a stronger thesis statement and summary to reinforce the writer's position.
lexical resource
The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and simplistic. To improve, aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and expressions that are more specific to the topic.
grammatical range and accuracy
Grammatical errors are present, and complex sentence structures are lacking. Work on varying sentence types and address grammatical inaccuracies for a higher score.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite