Writing task 2 task 2 IELTS 17 Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is an undeniable fact that today adults spend too little time with their
children
, causing many children
to start spending more time on phones
instead
of other things and social activities. In my opinion, smartphone addiction has a negative impact on their health and social life.
Basically, the intriguing content offered by social networking applications and video games are
the main reason why Change the verb form
is
children
are increasingly addicted to their phones
. We can mention some applications like Facebook or TikTok. I do not claim that it is completely bad, but somewhere on this
application, there is still content that is
not suitable for children
. Regarding the games, they are set up as a cycle. When we finish playing a level, it will ask if we want to play again. If we continue, we will repeat the same cycle until completion. Because every child is curious and wants to win, they may continue to play, leading to serious phone addiction. In the past, when phones
only had some basic features such
as calling and texting, we could see very few children
addicted to phones
like today.
Turning to detail, this
trend could have a negative impact on children
's health. The blue light of mobile phones
is harmful to the eyes, causing various problems
such
as eye irritation and poor vision. Furthermore
, long-term mobile phone addiction can lead to many health problems
, such
as fatigue and sleep disorders. Children
who are addicted to their phones
will have very few in-person friends, causing their communication, solving problems
, and problem-solving skills to gradually decline. A recent study by Northwestern University, USA also
showed that people who focus on mobile phones
for 68 minutes or more a day are at risk of depression, due to
lack of communication. Children
who use phones
for long periods of time are also
susceptible to negative emotions, impairing their eyesight and affecting the brain. Another serious consequence is the creation of attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder.
In short, the smartphone, a wonderful invention by humankind, can be either a beneficial or harmful tendency depending on how we make use of it. Using phones
too much affects children
's development and future, creating more problems
in society. Although
youngsters nowadays own their smartphones and use them appropriately such
as studying reflects a notable development in both technology and economic fields, it reflects the reality that parents do not pay sufficient attention to their children
.Submitted by jakelong16091994 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure the essay has a clear and logical structure. Use clear topic sentences and cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs effectively.
task achievement
Improve task response by providing a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument and a clear opinion. Ensure the essay fully addresses all parts of the task prompt.
lexical resource
Enhance lexical range by utilizing a varied vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. Employ synonyms and less common words appropriately.
grammatical range and accuracy
Broaden grammatical range by incorporating a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Correctly use a range of tenses, conditionals, and passive constructions.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.