IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people agree with spending lots of money on a large wedding, while others think a small wedding is a better option. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lots #money #option
Many
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that
wedding
Correct article usage
a wedding
show examples
 is
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
time
Correct your spelling
one-time
show examples
 moment, some
people
 agree to
held
Change the form of the verb
hold
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 and expensive wedding
while
 others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 it is better to have
simple
Add an article
a simple
show examples
 ceremony. I will discuss both views and give my own perspective. On the one hand, some
people
 want to make their wedding become
Correct article usage
an unforgetable
show examples
unforgetable
Correct your spelling
unforgettable
 moment with
Correct article usage
a numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of invitations and
spectular
Correct your spelling
spectacular
 attractions. Family
traditions
 can be referred
for
Change preposition
to as
show examples
this
 phenomenon as in some cultures it is a symbol of
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 and
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
show examples
 of
grateful
Replace the word
gratitude
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
God.
For example
, Batak ethnicity in Indonesia
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new couples to
held
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
party
Fix the agreement mistake
parties
show examples
 for seven nights. In their culture, it
is shows
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the economic status in their community because of the
mount
Correct your spelling
amount
show examples
 of
money
 spent for that
occasions
Fix the agreement mistake
occasion
show examples
.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
traditions
 sometimes make
people
 delay the decision to married as they need to prepare for the wedding cost.
On the other hand
, others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that saving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
 for future needs
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is more important than
spent
Change the form of the verb
spending
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one night. Young couples with low economic income are considering more on their life after marriage.
This
is now become
Change to the active voice
now becomes
has now become
show examples
 a trend in young generations for celebrating their wedding moment only in
Religion
Correct article usage
the Religion
show examples
 office,
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
 where married process
documented
Add a missing verb
is documented
show examples
.
For instance
, several months ago I saw
trend
Add an article
a trend
the trend
show examples
 in Social media when
people
 post a picture of their simple wedding and give testimonials of their life. Most of them are happy with their decision and highlighted that they can save more
money
 for
another needs
Replace the adjective
another need
other needs
show examples
such
 as house rental and insurance. In
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
show examples
,
while
 some
people
required
Add a missing verb
are required
show examples
 to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
money
 on expensive and large
wedding
Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
show examples
 because of
traditions
, others have
decide
Change the verb form
decided
show examples
 to save the
money
 for the household budget after
married
Replace the word
marriage
show examples
.
However
, I believe preserving
traditions
 is a must but couples should
also
 consider their economic level before deciding the scale of the wedding. In my opinion, it is better to save some
money
 for the future with a simple wedding ceremony.
Submitted by ryanrush16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and develop your paragraphs more consistently with a mix of complex structures.
task achievement
Expand upon your ideas and examples to fully address all parts of the task. Aim for a more comprehensive approach to discussing both sides of the argument and providing specific examples.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extravagant
  • nuptials
  • budget-friendly
  • intimate
  • ceremony
  • celebration
  • status symbol
  • investment
  • logistical challenges
  • future needs
  • destination wedding
  • eco-friendly
  • social gathering
  • memorable occasion
  • allocate funds
What to do next:
Look at other essays: