Nowadays in many countries young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons for this? Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
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modern era, metropolitan cities are becoming increasingly overcrowded, as most individuals are moving from the countryside to urban reagin in search of a better job and
education
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the main reasons for
this
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migration with examples and present my opinion.
To begin
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with, in rural
areas
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, local people often find difficulties in getting into universities and hospitals, most of them are far away from their homes and a lack of infrastructure and transportation makes their lives more challenging.
Therefore
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, many families are migrating to developed
places
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so they can provide better
education
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and clinics to their children.
For example
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, healthcare and
education
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are often better in urban
areas
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and they even offer free services in emergency situations as compared to rural
areas
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.
As a result
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, the local population are shifting to big cities.
Furthermore
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, limited job opportunities and salaries as remote
areas
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have small numbers of factories and they are offering extremely low wages which are not enough to buy food for families.
Due to
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this
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, many criminal activities often take place and they do not feel safe around them.
As a result
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, a growing number of villagers, are moving to cities.
For instance
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,
Uttar
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in Uttar
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Pradesh, the communities are relocating to
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
new places
a new place
show examples
places
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like Mumbai and Delhi, as these
places
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offer better pay so they can provide a better life for their families.
Moreover
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, these
places
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are more safe in comparison to their home town.
To sum up
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,
although
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, it's hard to live in new
places
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people are ready to struggle so they can have a better life,
education
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, healthcare and personal safety. The benefits of
this
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outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have more detailed explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas flow smoothly from one to another. Use linking words to connect your points better.
task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement in the introduction clearly states your main argument.
task achievement
You provided clear reasons for migration and linked them to the consequences.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • rural exodus
  • job market
  • academic institutions
  • cultural diversity
  • infrastructure
  • metropolitan
  • traditional values
  • overpopulation
  • innovation
  • networking opportunities
  • telecommuting
  • quality of life
  • economic disparity
  • environmental degradation
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