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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.
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The given graph depicts the percentage of commuters using four means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 in a city in Europe in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
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1960, 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, over the years, employees
traveled
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travelled
show examples
 to and from work by
train
Use synonyms
 and car more than by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tube
Use synonyms
 and
bus
Use synonyms
. In 1960,
Use synonyms
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 was the most popular mode of
transportation
Use synonyms
 with nearly 40% of commuters
used
Wrong verb form
using
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 it to go to work, followed by the
tube
Use synonyms
 at 27% and
Use synonyms
train
Correct article usage
the train
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 at almost 20%. Only 7% of the
communters
Correct your spelling
commuters
commenters
computers
 used
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
in
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 year. After 20 years, the percentage of people who
traveled
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travelled
show examples
 by
bus
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tube
Use synonyms
 dropped significantly to 27% and 22% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 dramatic surge was witnessed in the percentage of trains with 10%, which
at
Add a missing verb
was at
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 the same level
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
Use synonyms
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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, and cars
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 16%, at the same level
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the underground
train
Use synonyms
. In 2000, the number of employees who used
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
 continued to decrease to 15%, making it the least used mode of
transportation
Use synonyms
. The same can be
observered
Correct your spelling
observed
 with
Use synonyms
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 when
this
Linking Words
transportation
Use synonyms
 dropped to 22%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of people who drove
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 soared to nearly 40%
while
Linking Words
 the
tube
Use synonyms
 had a slight growth back to 25%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words transportation, train, tube, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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