Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no doubt that we are spending a huge amount of funds on different sports events. Though some folks opine that it is crucial for the communities, others argue that it is just a relaxation. I support the former statement. The populations who advocate the importance of sport might argue that it is the key medium of refreshment, either mental or physical.

Moreover

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, it gives us the opportunity to maintain our health. Those who are directly involved in

this

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activity, always remain healthy.

In contrast

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, those who are indirectly involved with the games

also

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get some benefits, like great excitement or a rush of adrenaline.

According to

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the doctors, the primary requirement of becoming healthy is to smile,

whereas

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enjoying a pastime helps to get

this

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opportunity.

For instance

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, every amusement, especially football, cricket or badminton, provides a huge amount of excitement to the spectators.

Therefore

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, audiences get the feeling of happiness and becoming happy.

This

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however

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, is

also

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a source of income for some publics. Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo are great examples of

this

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Additionally

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, it helps other related nations, like committees or staff, to earn money.

On the other hand

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according to

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the opposite group, sports are out of primary priority which is important to ensure daily needs. If it is possible to meet the primary demand,

this

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secondary demand will come. Playing a game does not always confirm the required capital

that is

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needed to lead a life. After fulfilling the basic demands and getting the spare time, it is possible to spend some quality hours by enjoying a distraction.

For example

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, after working five consecutive days, employees try to spend some quality time in different ways; enjoying a game is one of them. If they need to do overtime , they will not come to enjoy a match. In conclusion, it can be said that sports are always important if we are economically stable. It is not only vital for spending leisure moments but

also

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crucial for earning a huge amount of payments.

Consequently

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, we cannot ignore the importance of a diversion in our lives.

tanvir0507Thu Nov 16 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are present, you should make sure that they clearly summarize the main points of the argument. Work on refining your introduction to more directly address the prompt and clearly outline your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion

It's essential to ensure logical structure throughout your essay. Transition words can be used more effectively to create a better flow between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or aspect of the topic, ensuring that main points are adequately supported. A more balanced approach to discussing both perspectives with clear, consistent support could enhance your essay.

Task Achievement

Provide a complete response to the task by thoroughly discussing both views in the prompt and presenting your opinion more explicitly. Include a more comprehensive analysis of the contrasting views to strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

Strive for clarity and development of your ideas within each paragraph. Refining your topic sentences and supporting them with detailed examples can help in conveying your message more comprehensively.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples that directly support your argument. While you have provided examples, they should clearly link to the main idea and argument you are presenting within the paragraph.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

351 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Sedentary lifestyle
Chronic diseases
Teamwork
Cultural divides
Revenue generator
Infrastructure
Patriotism
Role models
Commercialization
Recreation
Stress-relief
Elite sports
Injury risks
Doping scandals

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Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many modern children spend great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is exteremly harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. To what extent do you agree or disgree?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Art is considered an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture .Do you think it is important for children to be taught art?Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on arts rather than other subject .

Some people says that it is a waste of public money to spend on cultural events, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion