Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no doubt that we are spending a huge amount of funds on different sports events. Though some folks opine that it is crucial for the communities, others argue that it is just a relaxation. I support the former statement. The populations who advocate the importance of sport might argue that it is the key medium of refreshment, either mental or physical.
Moreover
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, it gives us the opportunity to maintain our health. Those who are directly involved in
this
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activity, always remain healthy.
In contrast
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, those who are indirectly involved with the games
also
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get some benefits, like great excitement or a rush of adrenaline.
According to
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the doctors, the primary requirement of becoming healthy is to smile,
whereas
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enjoying a pastime helps to get
this
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opportunity.
For instance
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, every amusement, especially football, cricket or badminton, provides a huge amount of excitement to the spectators.
Therefore
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, audiences get the feeling of happiness and becoming happy.
This
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,
however
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, is
also
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a source of income for some publics. Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo are great examples of
this
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.
Additionally
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, it helps other related nations, like committees or staff, to earn money.
On the other hand
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,
according to
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the opposite group, sports are out of primary priority which is important to ensure daily needs. If it is possible to meet the primary demand,
this
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secondary demand will come. Playing a game does not always confirm the required capital
that is
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needed to lead a life. After fulfilling the basic demands and getting the spare time, it is possible to spend some quality hours by enjoying a distraction.
For example
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, after working five consecutive days, employees try to spend some quality time in different ways; enjoying a game is one of them. If they need to do overtime , they will not come to enjoy a match. In conclusion, it can be said that sports are always important if we are economically stable. It is not only vital for spending leisure moments but
also
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crucial for earning a huge amount of payments.
Consequently
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, we cannot ignore the importance of a diversion in our lives.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, you should make sure that they clearly summarize the main points of the argument. Work on refining your introduction to more directly address the prompt and clearly outline your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
It's essential to ensure logical structure throughout your essay. Transition words can be used more effectively to create a better flow between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or aspect of the topic, ensuring that main points are adequately supported. A more balanced approach to discussing both perspectives with clear, consistent support could enhance your essay.
Task Achievement
Provide a complete response to the task by thoroughly discussing both views in the prompt and presenting your opinion more explicitly. Include a more comprehensive analysis of the contrasting views to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Strive for clarity and development of your ideas within each paragraph. Refining your topic sentences and supporting them with detailed examples can help in conveying your message more comprehensively.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples that directly support your argument. While you have provided examples, they should clearly link to the main idea and argument you are presenting within the paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Chronic diseases
  • Teamwork
  • Cultural divides
  • Revenue generator
  • Infrastructure
  • Patriotism
  • Role models
  • Commercialization
  • Recreation
  • Stress-relief
  • Elite sports
  • Injury risks
  • Doping scandals
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