Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? What solutions can you suggest?
It has become an increasing trend for some nations to act in an anti-social way without respecting other crowds, largely influenced by the financial pressure caused by the current economic recession and misleading information in movies and online videos. In my opinion, addressing
this
issue necessitates finding the underlying causes of the behaviour.
To begin
with, the increase of folks breaking the law and attacking innocent communities in society stems from the economic crisis, resulting in a large amount of unemployment for normal families. In other words
, the misbehaviour can be regarded as a way of showing anger for a society suffering from financial pressure that may otherwise
have no way to raise attention. In addition
, the saturation of violence in both movies and online videos may amplify the criminal tendencies of some potential offenders. For example
, the Internet has been treated as a channel to spread violence to adolescents around the world by some political activists.
Addressing this
harmful behaviour requires active engagement from the government in recognizing the underlying causes and taking specific measures. That is
to say, the government should prioritize the development of the economy and increasing occupations. For example
, to provide more education opportunities, specific training for some professions, and control the living costs. Besides
, a righteous social narrative ought to be raised emphasising respecting and loving our communities, combined with strict censorship of violent content online. It is the awareness that we are supported and loved by our neighbourhood, community, and society that enables a harmonious atmosphere.
In conclusion, it will never be someone's first choice to attack others and commit crimes unless there are deep reasons behind it. Great effort is needed from the government to solve the problems leading to unstable behaviour and cultivate a supportive and encouraging association.Submitted by tanvir0507 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompts provided. It appears your essay may have slightly deviated from directly answering the question regarding the causes and potential solutions. The causes and solutions provided need to be more closely analyzed and explicitly linked to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates sufficient logical structure, but to further improve coherence and cohesion, try to maintain smoother connections between ideas and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices more effectively and look to create a consistent flow of information throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
The lexical range used is sufficient, but it can be enhanced by introducing a wider variety of vocabulary and avoiding repetition of certain phrases or words. Strive to use context-appropriate synonyms and complex expressions to demonstrate lexical proficiency.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is evidence of a variety of grammatical structures within your writing, but accuracy is paramount. Work on consistent use of articles, prepositions, and verb tenses to strengthen the grammatical range and accuracy of your essay. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement and proper use of pluralization.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!