Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? What solutions can you suggest?

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It has become an increasing trend for some nations to act in an anti-social way without respecting other crowds, largely influenced by the financial pressure caused by the current economic recession and misleading information in movies and online videos. In my opinion, addressing

this

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issue necessitates finding the underlying causes of the behaviour.

To begin

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with, the increase of folks breaking the law and attacking innocent communities in society stems from the economic crisis, resulting in a large amount of unemployment for normal families.

In other words

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, the misbehaviour can be regarded as a way of showing anger for a society suffering from financial pressure that may

otherwise

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have no way to raise attention.

In addition

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, the saturation of violence in both movies and online videos may amplify the criminal tendencies of some potential offenders.

For example

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, the Internet has been treated as a channel to spread violence to adolescents around the world by some political activists. Addressing

this

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harmful behaviour requires active engagement from the government in recognizing the underlying causes and taking specific measures.

That is

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to say, the government should prioritize the development of the economy and increasing occupations.

For example

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, to provide more education opportunities, specific training for some professions, and control the living costs.

Besides

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, a righteous social narrative ought to be raised emphasising respecting and loving our communities, combined with strict censorship of violent content online. It is the awareness that we are supported and loved by our neighbourhood, community, and society that enables a harmonious atmosphere. In conclusion, it will never be someone's first choice to attack others and commit crimes unless there are deep reasons behind it. Great effort is needed from the government to solve the problems leading to unstable behaviour and cultivate a supportive and encouraging association.

tanvir0507Thu Nov 16 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompts provided. It appears your essay may have slightly deviated from directly answering the question regarding the causes and potential solutions. The causes and solutions provided need to be more closely analyzed and explicitly linked to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates sufficient logical structure, but to further improve coherence and cohesion, try to maintain smoother connections between ideas and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices more effectively and look to create a consistent flow of information throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource

The lexical range used is sufficient, but it can be enhanced by introducing a wider variety of vocabulary and avoiding repetition of certain phrases or words. Strive to use context-appropriate synonyms and complex expressions to demonstrate lexical proficiency.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

There is evidence of a variety of grammatical structures within your writing, but accuracy is paramount. Work on consistent use of articles, prepositions, and verb tenses to strengthen the grammatical range and accuracy of your essay. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement and proper use of pluralization.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

diminished
empathy
individualism
self-centered
economic pressures
competitive nature
manifest
traditional moral values
aggressive content
anonymity
consequences
character education
social and emotional learning
community-based programs
ethical teachings
socio-economic contributors
regulating
promotes
discourages
foster

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Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? What solutions can you suggest?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

IELTS essay, topic: Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative?

Living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?