today, many people do not know do not their neighbours on large cities. what problems does this cause what can be done about this?

Nowadays,
people
have a big
problem
with
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
who lives in large
cities
,
that is
bad relationships with any
people
living around them. Any
person
lives
Correct pronoun usage
who lives
show examples
in an apartment building but does not know and always
stay
Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
show examples
at
home
,
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not hand out to find neighbours. a big
problem
is happening in large
cities
but do not have
wat
Fix the agreement mistake
a way
show examples
to cope.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
writer will give some of
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be done
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
problem
. In large
cities
,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
all age will
age will
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
have thinking like
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
at
home
because when they hang out, must
careful
Add a missing verb
be careful
show examples
with
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
and some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bad
Add an article
the bad
show examples
cases so they will stay at
home
all day to
safe
Add a missing verb
be safe
show examples
, but that
problem
each
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
happen more at 10 years old or under 25 years old.
Have
Verb problem
There are
show examples
many reasons, but now the main reason may be smartphones which
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
or students at university, secondary or primary must have,
have
Wrong verb form
There are
show examples
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
ways to have it but
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at age funny things like games, videos,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
a photo or chatting with
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
and do not hang out.
With any
Change preposition
Any
show examples
that
Add a comma
thinking,
show examples
thinking
Replace the word
think
show examples
they will stay at
home
and never go out and if they do out, they must have smartphones.
According to
knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
a knowledge
show examples
of
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
in America, over the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
have90%
person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
and use
Add an article
a smartphone
the smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
in their life. Want decrease that case all families in large
cities
must give for child to study about have neighbors live around them.
For example
,
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a book was written by
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
in Germany, he writes about
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
boy
do
Wrong verb form
who does
show examples
not have one neighbor because all day he stays at
home
and thinks like he scare
people
live
Verb problem
apply
show examples
around him because he ever
talk
Change the verb form
talks
show examples
with them. At
last
, he died but never
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
one neighbour
besides
. In conclusion, because
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
will ride and it
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not stop,
according to
that will have dunny thing will
born
Change the verb form
bear
be born
show examples
so
people
will be attracted with it but must know point stop and give up their life.
Instead
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, will make more neighbours
to do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not think disadvantages in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present; however, they do not clearly present the topic nor summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
Main points are not well supported by relevant explanations or examples, which are essential for a complete response to the prompt.
task achievement
The response is incomplete and does not adequately address all parts of the task, particularly the solutions to the problem described.
task achievement
Ideas are not expressed clearly or comprehensively, which makes the essay difficult to understand.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
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