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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The provided pie charts show statistics of granted degrees at the National University from 1990 to 2010.

The provided pie charts show statistics of granted degrees at the National University from 1990 to 2010.
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The provided pie charts show statistics of granted degrees at the National University from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most granted degree was computer science showing an upward trend
results
Change preposition
in results
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 among other fields through the data provided. Back to the details, the figures were one third as equal
as
Change preposition
to
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business
Add an article
a business
the business
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 field in
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
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, but by the 2010s
the
Correct article usage
apply
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computer science
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 changed its numbers considerably
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the second mentioned degree with a
noticeble
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 decrease
with
Change preposition
of
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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exactly a half.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, medicine and law didn't have any changes the demonstrated similar trends
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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only 15% at the same period of time.
However
Linking Words
, for the chart
at
Change preposition
in
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 the
middle
Add a comma
middle,
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 the pattern appeals slightly
different
Change the word
differently
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.
Far
Correct article usage
A far
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fewer
Correct word choice
lower
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 proportion of the law field was granted as opposed to the computer science at the university, 10 and 40 respectively. Another half of
this
Linking Words
 chart was occupied by medicine which is almost exactly a third of the corresponding figure, and business with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provided" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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