Some people believe that arts such as painting and music do not improve people’s lives and therefore government should not spend money on them. Instead the government should spend money on science and technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, it is strongly believed that government funding should mainly focus on science and technology as opposed to
arts
and culture.
Although
this
claim has many advocates, I strongly believe that investing more in the
arts
is as significant and life-changing for people. It is an undeniable fact that science and technology play important roles in
society
and,
therefore
, must attract significant funding from governments. Particularly, improvements in these areas, not only can drastically and positively change people's lives in many aspects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
help with the
overall
health index and the economy. By injecting more capital into scientific and technological research, there will be a higher probability of curing diseases and introducing new innovations, which can eventually elevate the quality of human lives. Naturally, allocating more funds to these areas can certainly be a beneficial step forward.
On the other hand
, one cannot ignore the economic and emotional significance of
arts
and culture in
society
either. By promoting these areas through fundamental financial support, governments can attract more enthusiasts,
such
as tourists, both locally and internationally, which in turn can help the local and national economy.
Moreover
, upon taking
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
to preserve the
arts
,
such
as founding more galleries, cinemas, museums, and
arts
centres, governments can pave the way for positively improving a nation's emotional and mental health, which can
further
build a stronger and more positively-minded community.
As a result
, investing in the
arts
can certainly lead to desirable outcomes for
society
as well.
To conclude
, I believe that one cannot consider
this
issue to be a black-and-white matter. Despite the very popular belief that allocating government funds to science and technology can be certainly important, providing financial support for the development of
arts
and culture will
also
unquestionably benefit
society
from multiple perspectives.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay presents a strong argument, it can be further enhanced by including more specific examples to support the points. For instance, mentioning particular arts projects or technological advancements could demonstrate the benefits of government spending more concretely.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating similar phrases such as "life-changing for people" and "positively improving" to make the essay more varied and engaging. This can help ensure that each sentence offers new insights or strengthens the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer’s arguments.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitional phrases like "On the other hand" and "To conclude" enhances the flow and makes the text cohesive.
task achievement
The argument is thoroughly presented, with a balanced view that acknowledges the importance of both science and technology as well as the arts. This comprehensive approach effectively addresses the task prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • quality of life
  • personal fulfillment
  • mental health
  • emotional well-being
  • creative thinking
  • critical analysis
  • cognitive skills
  • economic impact
  • attracting tourism
  • generating revenue
  • cultural landmarks
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • technological advancements
  • well-rounded development
  • groundbreaking discoveries
  • societal advancements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: