Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year.Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth

Nowadays,the ambition of humans is increasing every day so
this
reason causes many
problems
such
as curiosity about the universe .
This
purpose causes governments of many countries to spend millions of dollars to look around
space
research
every year .
By contrast
, some people argue that the
money
should be spent on improving living standards on earth.
This
essay is agreed upon and will be explained in the next paragraph. There are too many
problems
that need to be resolved. One of the most
problems
is global warming. So why some opinions suppose the
money
should be spent on improving the quality of life. Global warming or transport facilities are one of the obvious increases in the poverty rate in the world.
For example
, each year many countries are destroyed by floods,hurricanes.
Therefore
money
needs to be offset for them and rehabilitate back original.
On the other hand
, sometimes scientists do
research
or
space
is not important but the
money
that they spend is too big and we don't receive much about it. We need to deal with the
problems
of
space
that
Space
need a lot of
money
to deal with but we don't have
money
to spend on it. What we need to pay less for the
research
and spend on the sound An example of
this
is nowadays there are many poor people that need help and clot of construction that need to be built but the meid don't spend
money
for it but the government mest Spend a lot of
money
for exploring the
space
. To summarize the people's ambitions are well-founded, but it is still harder because the knowledge is not enough.
However
, improving living run-of-the-mill on Earth can help find talent and it makes distance
research
more easier. I personally believe that
money
should be spent on improvements in order to maintain and improve the happiness of Earth's life.
Submitted by zky1705202 on

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coherence cohesion
You need to develop a clearer structure that progresses logically through the essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within it support that idea.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but they lack clarity and a strong thesis statement. Your conclusion in particular should summarise your key points thoroughly and reflect back to your introduction.
task achievement
Provide clearer supporting details for your main points. While there are examples provided, they need to be further elaborated to clearly tie back to your main argument.
task achievement
Your essay response appears to be complete, but your ideas are not presented clearly and comprehensively. Work on structuring your essay in a way that develops each idea thoroughly before moving on to the next point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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