IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are organising a trip to Paris, France for a group of students from England. Write to the manager of the Youth Hostel Association in Paris. In your letter, explain when you want to visit Paris how long you will stay how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to enquire about the accommodation for the students. I am organising a trip from England to Paris, France for a group of students.
This
Linking Words
 is a summer camp for students aged 15 - 18 years old, which will take place from the 7th to the 14th of June, 2026.
This
Linking Words
 program will
last
Linking Words
 one week. The main goal of
this
Linking Words
 camp is to explore French cultures and history. There will be around 20-30 people joining the camp, so, I would like to request for hostel rooms or guesthouses, where everyone can stay together or in the same area.
Then
Linking Words
, it would be easy to travel during the program. For the location, it can be in the city or an outskirt of the city, where it should not take a long time to commute. I look forward to your reply. Your Sincerely, Jane McDonald

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Say the number of students in a clear way. Do not write 20-30. Give one number if you can.
task response
Ask for the room type in a more clear way, such as shared rooms for students and one room for teachers.
coherence and cohesion
Put each main point in its own part: time, stay, group size, and rooms.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like also, so, and because to make the ideas flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Write the closing as Yours sincerely only if you know the name. Here, Yours faithfully is better.
task response
You answered all parts of the task: time, length of stay, group size, and place to stay.
task response
The tone is polite and right for a formal letter.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea most of the time.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: