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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph illustrates how many
trips
Use synonyms
 were made by children to travel to and from school using different types of transportation from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total number of walking was the primary transportation among students between 5 and 12 years old in 1990. The number of car passengers saw the most dramatic increase over two decades and became the primary method of transportation among school children aged 5 to 12 years old. The total number of car passengers was just above 4
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
 in 1990, exhibiting the least selected option in that
year
Use synonyms
. Walking's value was just over 12
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
, dominating other options. The remaining methods
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
cycling, walking and
bus
Use synonyms
, and only
bus
Use synonyms
 were just over 6
million
Use synonyms
, just below 6
million
Use synonyms
, and around 7
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 in 1990, respectively. After two decades, the option of being a car passenger almost tripled its value by roughly 11
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
. The walking method saw a noticeable decrease of more than 6
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
. The least preferred methods were,
therefore
Linking Words
, the remaining alternatives that cycling with approximately 2
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
, walking and using a
bus
Use synonyms
 with about 3
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
, and
finally
Linking Words
 only using a
bus
Use synonyms
 with around 5
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words trips, million, year, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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