Some people argue that competitive sports are good for bringing together different people and cultures.Other argue that these sports can cause problems and increase conflicts between nations. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

In
this
concurrent world, it is undoubtedly true that
sports
are physical and mental activities which keep a person disease-free, reduce stress and increase stamina. Some people concur that
sports
can cause cultural disturbance and increase conflicts.
However
, I quibble with them and profound that
sports
have uncountable benefits beyond any contradiction.
This
essay will
further
elaborate on my reasons for the same in my upcoming paragraphs which will lead to a logical conclusion. There is adequate evidence of
this
view which is substantial. The top-notch concrete reason is
sports
teach team spirit, a feeling of brotherhood, patriotism and
above all
cultural tolerance. Another pivotal aspect is it makes the country highly progressive socially, economically, and politically. The rearmost coherent factor to be considered which can not be neglected is that it gives name and fame to the country and individuals.
Thus
,
it is clear that
sports
has certainly undeniable merits. What is half full for some, may appear half empty to others. So, people in general tend to distinguish that
sports
can cause cultural disturbance and increase conflicts, it is hard to digest but still, believers hold their perspective which has multifarious reasons. To commence with, some people deem that different cultures have different mindsets, hai so they do not respect each other. Withal they
also
uphold that political disturbances between the countries can cause hatred and justify it. To culminate, I reiterate that there are plenty of strong factors supporting
sports
.
However
, the contrary cannot be overlooked either.
Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your introduction presents an opinion, although it lacks a clear outline of the main points you will discuss. The subsequent paragraphs offer reasons for your stance but without clear topic sentences that guide the reader. Introduce main ideas more clearly at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
While you have presented a clear position, the essay does not sufficiently cover the task because it does not discuss both views equally before giving an opinion. It is critical to address all parts of the prompt, including the discussion of how competitive sports could potentially increase conflicts between nations.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your points more precisely. Replace repetitive words and phrases with synonyms or alternative expressions, and try to use idiomatic language appropriately.
grammatical range and accuracy
Work on increasing the complexity of your sentence structures. Incorporate a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, and use a variety of conjunctions to link ideas and add depth to your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!