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Writing Samples
Band 7

More people will work from home and more students will study at home if computer technology becomes cheap and accessible. What will be the advantages and disadvantages if this happens?

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Nowadays, more people have an opportunity to access technology
due to
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 cheaper prices.
This
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 affects workers to work from
home
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 and students to
study
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 at
home
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. There's a lot of positive impact from technology advancement but there will
also
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 be some drawbacks. I will discuss the drawbacks and benefits . I completely agree that the positive impact is flexibility and developing work-life balance for employees, the result of
this
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 is allowing them to manage their schedules well.
Furthermore
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, cost savings for both workers and companies,
as
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for
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 example Adi took a long time to commute and the cost to go to companies is relatively high, he likes to complain about the expenses that are out of his pocket. Companies can save expense of office space which is a plus of technological advancement.
On the other hand
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, there will be several drawbacks which cannot be overlooked.
Firstly
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, the individual might not be able to maintain a balance between work in life. By
this
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, working from
home
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 means they always do their jobs from
home
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 and do not have time to spend with a family member.
Secondly
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, some student might lose concentration in their
study
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due to
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 excessive use of gadgets.
For example
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, in educational institutes, students are provided with that kind of environment where they can concentrate well, which is lacking in the
study
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 of their habitat.
Finally
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, a person might procrastinate work and
study
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 and become used to it, which is not a good sign for anyone. In conclusion,
although
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 learning and working from
home
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 offers several advantages like convenience and economical. Procrastination and work-life balance are concerning the issue.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more clearly using transition phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand your supporting examples to make your arguments more persuasive and detailed.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents an opinion.
task achievement
The essay identifies both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing a balanced perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • digital communication
  • flexibility
  • productivity
  • work-life balance
  • accessibility
  • cost-effective
  • online learning
  • virtual classroom
  • digital skills
  • job market
  • commitment
  • isolation
  • distraction
  • self-discipline
  • home office
  • collaboration tools
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