In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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With a higher level of mobility in the modern world, movements to and fro within a country have become more prevalent than in the past. Particularly, the phenomenon of
movement
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from rural to urban
areas
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has aroused much controversy among various circles.
Although
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there are good arguments in favour of the
movement
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, I personally believe that the
movement
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is a negative development as a whole. Among all the reasons for supporting the stance, the foremost reason is that the
movement
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from rural
areas
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to urban
areas
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can undeniably create the problem of overpopulation in
cities
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. It should be noted that the impact brought by overpopulation can be incontrovertibly detrimental to local residents living in
cities
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. The first negative impact popping in mind is that inflation will result as there is a higher demand for daily necessities.
Consequently
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, the
overall
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cost of living becomes higher, creating a financial burden on the residents. Overcrowding in
cities
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also
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contributes to environmental problems, be it land or air pollution, posing threats to
the
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apply
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public health. Another justification deserving our attention is that it is hard to enhance the quality of life of immigrants from rural
areas
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. The majority of people living in rural
areas
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move to
cities
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in an attempt to look for more employment opportunities.
However
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, it is usually insurmountably difficult for them to secure a job with a stable income and satisfactory working conditions because of their low education levels.
In contrast
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, jobs with good career prospects usually require professional knowledge and qualifications in
cities
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, making it even more challenging for rural people to move up the social ladder.
While
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the cost of living is relatively higher in
cities
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, it in turn puts rural residents in financial difficulty. Deplorably, the government needs to invest more resources to accommodate the needs of
this
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disadvantaged population, ranging from education, housing, and healthcare to the social security system. Under
this
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line of thinking, more people moving to
cities
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and leaving the countryside undeveloped can bring a wide range of negative impacts and
therefore
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it should be regarded as a negative development.
Submitted by jothyliu on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to illustrate the points you are making. This would strengthen the argument and fulfill the task more completely.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow of the essay. While there is some clear organization, improving the coherence of ideas between paragraphs will boost this score.
lexical resource
Expand your use of vocabulary with synonyms and less common phrases to enrich the text and demonstrate a wider lexical resource.
grammatical range
Focus on varying your sentence structures more. Utilize complex and compound sentences and avoid repetition of similar grammatical patterns.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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