IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar graph illustrates a summary of
casualty
Fix the agreement mistake
casualties
show examples
 and
injuries
Use synonyms
 per 100
million
Use synonyms
 passenger miles travelled by 5 types of travelling modes in 2002. The types of transport methods were commuter
rail
Use synonyms
, heavy
rail
Use synonyms
, light
rail
Use synonyms
, bus and demand response.
Overall
Linking Words
, abrasions were lower than mishaps occurred and railway casualties were relatively lower in 2002.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a total of 225
million
Use synonyms
PMT
Use synonyms
 misfortune
accidents
Use synonyms
 occurred
due to
Linking Words
 technology-based and shared mobility services
while
Linking Words
 recording the highest number of
accidents
Use synonyms
 ;
however
Linking Words
,
injuries
Use synonyms
 were 52
million
Use synonyms
PMT
Use synonyms
 lower than the actual incidents that took place.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
accidents
Use synonyms
 by commuter
rail
Use synonyms
 (20
million
Use synonyms
PMT
Use synonyms
) were the lowest among all the other modes of travelling methods.
In addition
Linking Words
, the commuter
rail
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 and
injuries
Use synonyms
 ratio was higher compared to real
accidents
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 17
million
Use synonyms
PMT
Use synonyms
injuries
Use synonyms
 USE SYNONYMS shocklosscrampcutbruiseburnwounddamagelacerationsoresufferingabusetraumafractureswellingscarsprain It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. turned out for 20
million
Use synonyms
PMT
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Bus and light
rail
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 were relatively similar (76
million
Use synonyms
PMT
Use synonyms
) ;
however
Linking Words
, the bus
injuries
Use synonyms
 were higher compared to light
rail
Use synonyms
injuries
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words injuries, million, rail, pmt, accidents with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: