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These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#phones #internet #people #development
In our century, new technologies like mobiles and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 have a magnificent role for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 to communicate with each other.
Although
 they produce so many benefits,
also
 they are responsible for a lot of problems that in my opinion outweigh them. It is
deniable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
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 that in our era, the way of communication has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed significantly compared to the past. Nowadays
the
Correct article usage
apply
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communication is possible very easily and each person can find new friends and different groups of
people
 with the vast variety of applications
in
Change preposition
on
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 the phone and with the favour of
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. In
this
 technology
era
Add a comma
era,
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 each individual conveniently can connect to
people
 far away in distance and share their information with each other.
People
 are in close relation with each other, despite
they
Correct article usage
the they
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 are geographically far,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
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in
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on
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 different continents.
Therefore
our
Change the word
the
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 number and groups of
people
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with who
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who
Change the pronoun
whom
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 we communicate,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 going to grow every day, and we may recognize more
indivi
Correct your spelling
individuals
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should set the context and state your position on the topic, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate your position.
task achievement
Develop your main points with relevant supporting details and examples. This will make your arguments more convincing and enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
In the actual IELTS exam, failing to write a conclusion may result in a lower Task Achievement score. Make certain to fully address all parts of the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay ended abruptly, indicating an incomplete thought. Always finish your sentences and ensure every paragraph reaches a logical conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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