IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You are planning a short visit to a city where one of your relatives lives. Write a letter to your relative. In your letter: • Explain when and how long you will be in town. • Ask whether you can stay at their home. • Offer to pay for yourself.

#visit #city #relatives #lives #town #home #offer
Dear Mary It's been a long
time
 since we saw each other. I am writing
this
 letter to let you know about my plan. I will be visiting the city near your hometown on 22 September 2023. I have planned to stay in
this
 city for three weeks, which is enough
time
 to live here temporarily and go to visit other places. On the second day of my stay, I want to go to visit the Buddhist Temple, which is close to your home. So, I will ask you to live at your home for one day. In
this
 way, it is convenient for me which no need to return to the city.
Moreover
,
this
 is a wonderful opportunity to spend
time
 together. On
this
 trip, don't worry about the cost because I can pay for every expense by myself.
This
 includes other costs which might have during the
time
 l live with you. I look forward to hearing from you soon Lots of love Victor
Submitted by mahawichet on

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coherence cohesion
While the main ideas in your letter are generally organized, you could benefit from more explicit linking words to connect sentences and clarify relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
You should ensure that there is a clear and logical structure to your response, with an appropriate introduction and conclusion. Furthermore, paragraphs should be logically separated and each should centre around a single main idea.
task achievement
You addressed all parts of the task, but it would enhance your response to provide more specific details related to each point. For example, mention exact dates or times when discussing your visit, and offer specific ways you can contribute financially during your stay.
task achievement
The overall tone of your letter is suitably informal and friendly, which fits the context of writing to a relative. However, maintain consistent registers throughout, avoiding overly formal or colloquial expressions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • anticipate
  • accommodation
  • arrive/depart
  • duration
  • itinerary
  • gracious hospitality
  • household
  • inconvenience
  • lodging
  • reimburse
  • temporary residence
  • travel arrangements
  • visit
  • warm welcome
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