Some individuals argue that children should always heed the advice given by their parents, while others believe that children should make decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is believed that
children
should pay attention to the
Change the word
their
parents
’ advice, whereas
others argue that they should determine on their own. Both view
will be discussed in Change to a plural noun
views
this
essay and I endorse the latter view due to
the potential consequences it poses.
To begin
with, there are several grounds why children
should take their parent’s advice. For one thing, the minors are immature and still the
age that they should be protected by their patrons. Change preposition
at the
Therefore
, parents
can suggest the safe options which they already have experienced in their lives. In other words
, children
should opt for the guidances
from their Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
parents
because they can supplement unripe children
’s choices, promoting better consequences.
In spite of the reason
mentioned above, I reckon that Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
children
should make decisions split from their parents
. First and foremost, self-decision making can enchance
the life satisfaction of adolescents. Correct your spelling
enhance
This
is because they can have the initiative in their own life and be respected as an entity. Furthermore
, they can make even an advantageous conclusion, since they know themselves the best what they need. Another reason commonly put forward is that children
can cultivate the
sense of responsibility. Correct article usage
a
Due to
the fact that they can intactly
learn how they can be responsible for their own choices, which do not rely on the Correct your spelling
instantly
parents
, experiencing new things.
In a nutshell, it is clear that
, although
some people contend that children
should be attentive their
Change preposition
to their
parents
’ care, they can be more
happier when they can Change the word
apply
take
a decision themselves.Correct your spelling
make
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the views that will be compared. While the main views were presented, they could be better clarified with a more detailed thesis statement.
Task Achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas and make sure to answer all parts of the prompt. Your essay needs to address both views equally and offer specific examples to support each point fully.
Coherence & Cohesion
A clear logical structure is partially present with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow can be improved. Consider the use of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader smoothly through the arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Expand on your supporting points by adding more depth and detail, which could include statistics, studies, or anecdotal evidence to increase the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Lexical Resource
A broader range of vocabulary would enhance the essay. Aim to utilize less common words and phrases to demonstrate flexibility and precision in language use.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
To improve your grammatical range, incorporate a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and passive voice, while ensuring correct punctuation and conjugation.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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