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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the best way to solve trafic congestion in cities is to provide free public transport 24 hour a day, 7 days a week. Is it good or bad, to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #trafic #congestion #cities #transport #hour #week
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In many parts of the world, traffic jam is a major problem that adversely damages the residents. Many
people
 argue that the ideal method to address
this
 issue is providing public
transport
 at any time and at no cost.
However
, I believe that
this
 idea is not the optimum measure to deal with
this
 problem and the paragraphs below express my opinion.
Firstly
, providing available and free public
transport
 cannot benefit all
people
, especially those who commute to work within a short distance.
Therefore
, there is no need for them to utilise public
transport
 because it is inconvenient. As an exemplification, many countries have constructed plenty of devices to assist
this
 approach,
although
, they are still in the position that they began.
Moreover
, bringing more vehicles
such
 as trains and buses still has its own drawbacks. Some studies have revealed that the more buses and trains are being built, the more crime incidents happen. Specifically, in Japan, where public
transport
 is ubiquitous, the rate of criminals engaging in robbery and sexual abuse is much higher than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 countries.
Secondly
, if the government implemented
this
 system, many workers would lose their jobs. To epitomize,
people
 prefer taxis to public
transport
 because they are cosier and more comfortable.
Therefore
, when
people
 start to use public transportation systems, many occupations can extinct and might lead to poverty, which is one of the most problematic factors in many countries.
Furthermore
, public
transport
 is inappropriate for busy individuals because it is time-consuming. In conclusion, providing free and available communal transportation might not
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 finest way to resolve stuck in traffic.
Although
 it brings some advantages, the elements related to criminals and employment damage more to society.
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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed. It is important to discuss both the extent of your agreement/disagreement and consider any benefits as well as drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow of ideas by ensuring smooth transitions between the different points. Use more cohesive devices such as furthermore, additionally, and nevertheless.
task achievement
Use more specific and varied examples to support your points, making sure they are relevant to the task. This will strengthen your arguments and illustrate your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for the response.
task achievement
You have presented a logical argument and supported your points with examples.
overall
Your writing demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary and grammar, contributing to the clarity of your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • public transport
  • financial implications
  • environmental sustainability
  • social equity
  • infrastructure
  • ridership
  • commuting behavior
  • congestion pricing
  • alternative transportation
  • urban planning
  • feasible
  • subsidize
  • urban sprawl
  • rush hour
  • carbon footprint
  • socio-economic factors
  • multimodal transport solutions
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