Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?
In
this
day and age, some people believe that students should mainly focus on developing their academic performance in order to pass their exams and reach their goals instead
of other soft skills
such
as cooking or dressing. From my point of view, I equally agree and disagree with this
statement and this
essay will pinpoint my own perspective.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that academic knowledge plays a pivotal role in individual’s
achievements. Specifically, schools are the places that Correct article usage
an individual’s
equipp
learners with deep understanding in terms of complex subjects Correct your spelling
equip
equips
such
as math, physics, chemistry
. The learners can acquire and accumulate Correct word choice
and chemistry
these knowledge
so that they can pass the final exams with prestigious Change the determiner
this knowledge
degree
.Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
Therefore
, academic
seems to be a useful tool that helps youngsters uplift and empower their potential and well-being to enter Fix the agreement mistake
academics
the
tertiary education with Correct article usage
apply
flying-colours
in order that they may easily enhance their talents effectively in Correct your spelling
flying colours
the
better studying environment.
Correct article usage
a
On the other hand
, many individuals, including me advocate that beside
Replace the word
besides
academic
system, children should be taught Correct article usage
the academic
in
soft Change preposition
apply
skills
which are considered to be entirely essential for them before entering the
adulthood. It is because of the fact that, when they go Correct article usage
apply
into
Change preposition
to
university’s
life and live independently, some basic Change noun form
university
skills
such
as how to cook or how to fix the
items should be done by themselves in order to survive Correct article usage
apply
as well as
save the household’s expenditures. Additionally
, learning these social skills
are
Verb problem
has
also
proved
to be the time that young people can relieve their stress and take a rest after a long hectic schedule to have productive days and perform well in their exams.
In conclusion, I personally think that both academic performance and practical Correct your spelling
proven
skills
have equally positive impact on their lives and teenagers should balance their time between two
of them.Correct article usage
the two
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task achievement
The essay presents an opinion on the issue and outlines arguments for both sides. However, specific examples and detailed explanations that fully develop the arguments are lacking. Aim to include clear and specific examples that support the main points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure is adequate, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas can be more varied and sophisticated. Improve logical flow by utilizing a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea connecting to the overall argument.
lexical resource
The range of vocabulary used is appropriate but lacks variability and precision at times. Work on incorporating a wider lexical resource with more precise vocabulary and synonyms to convey your points more effectively.
grammatical range
There is some variety in sentence structures, but the essay would benefit from more complex and varied grammatical constructions. Avoid repetitive sentence patterns and demonstrate control of complex grammar forms. Check for minor grammatical errors to improve accuracy.