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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of money given to developing countries from five organisations from 2008 to 2011. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount of money given to developing countries from five organisations from 2008 to 2011. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The above bar graph illustrates donations paid to developing countries from 5 organisations for 4 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, by all 5 managements, there were
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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significant fluctuations in donated
money
Use synonyms
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the period.
Organisation
Use synonyms
 2 donated the most sum of funds within the time period
whereas
Linking Words
,
organisation
Use synonyms
 4 gave the least number of cash from 2008 to 2011.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the highest figure of payment was given by
Use synonyms
organisation
Capitalize word
Organisation
show examples
 2 in the year 2011, which was about 2.6
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, during that same year, institution 5 donated the lowest amount of cash (0.4
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as mentioned above institution 2 donated the most number of
money
Use synonyms
 but in 2008,
organisation
Use synonyms
 5 donated a similar amount of donation (1.3
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
) as
Organisation
Use synonyms
 2.
In addition
Linking Words
, 4 organisations donated more than half a
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
throughout
Change preposition
between
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 2008,2010
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and 2011, but
in contrast
Linking Words
, only during the year 2009,
organisation
Use synonyms
 4 donated
money
Use synonyms
 lower than 0.5
billion
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, beginning of the period (2008), the least amount of
money
Use synonyms
 was given by
organisation
Use synonyms
 1.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, organisation, billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • amount of money
  • developing countries
  • organisations
  • from 2008 to 2011
  • given to
  • funding
  • analyze
  • examine
  • discuss
  • evaluate
  • explore
  • highlight
  • summarize
  • trends
  • data
  • chart
  • purpose
  • overview
  • key findings
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