In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Many studies demonstrate a progressive increase in life expectancy. Scientists actively pursue ways to
further
enhance this
trend, considering it a matter of utmost importance. While
some argue that an aging
population is burdensome, I staunchly support the perspective that the positive impacts of Change the spelling
ageing
this
demographic shift far outweigh the drawbacks.
Critics contend that the elderly pose a burden, emphasizing the responsibilities placed on both families and societies. Families, particularly adult children, assume the new responsibility of caring for their aging
parents. Change the spelling
ageing
Moreover
, governments bear the obligation to establish comprehensive social welfare programs, encompassing not only health insurance but also
pensions and housing provisions.
Contrary to those who view the elderly as burdens, I am firmly of the belief that they constitute invaluable assets to society. Their advanced age equips them with a wealth of wisdom and honesty, garnered through a lifetime of experiences. Furthermore
, elderly individuals continue to play significant roles, serving as caretakers for grandchildren in domestic life and contributing to political realms, as exemplified by figures like Joe Biden (USA), Queen Elizabeth (UK), and Anwar Ibrahim (Malaysia).
In conclusion, the trend of increasing life expectancy yields positive effects that far surpass any drawbacks. It is imperative to recognize the elderly not as burdens but as vital contributors to the rich tapestry of societal wisdom and experience.In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging
population creates problems for governments. Change the spelling
ageing
Other
think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an Fix the agreement mistake
Others
aging
population outweigh the disadvantages?Change the spelling
ageing
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task achievement
When addressing the task, it is essential to ensure you provide a balanced view. While you presented one side convincingly, a more nuanced approach including direct discussion on the disadvantages would improve task achievement.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is commendable. However, to elevate your score, both sections could be more concise and directly related to the task prompt.
logical structure
For improved coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of linking phrases and ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, it's important to provide equal development to all main points for a more coherent argument.
supported main points
While some examples provided are pertinent, consider adding more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your main points and better illustrate your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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