The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.
the table
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the number of
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
were born in
Correct your spelling
Australia
austrailia
Correct your spelling
Australia
over a period of two and half decade since 1981 after analyzing the table, the
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
from age 40 to 44 who had no
children
was 8.5% in 1981
this
percentage
rose to 9.7% after four
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
of
interval
Fix the agreement mistake
intervals
show examples
. the women with had given birth to
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
child and double were 7.6% and 29% in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1981
while
this
inclined gradually and reached 8.7% and 35% over a four year period the
percentage
of
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
with 3-4 or more
children
were much higher approximately to 28%
furthermore
, from 1996 to 2006, the
childlesss
Correct your spelling
childless
woman ratio went up from 12% to 15%
while
for one
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
13 % a decade later.
whereas
there was no difference in the
percentage
of two
children
and remained there but for three or more
children
the percentile
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
to its lowest point and
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
downwardly between 1996 to 2006
overall
, it can be vividly manifested that the women from 40-44 years old had more
children
initially
and
this
percentage
decreased over time.
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fertility rate
  • demographic shift
  • age cohort
  • workforce implications
  • government policy
  • birth rate fluctuations
  • education level
  • career advancement
  • reproductive health
  • family planning
  • socio-economic factors
  • population pyramid
  • life expectancy
  • childbearing age
  • maternity leave
  • contraceptive methods
  • population growth rate
  • average family size
  • maternal health
  • census data
What to do next:
Look at other essays: