One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?
Improvements in medical care have resulted in increased life expectancy and life long. I believe the advantages corresponding to medical care enhancement are more considerable than the minor disadvantages.
On the one hand, a potential disadvantage
maybe
the addiction of people to some medicines. People are usually uninformed about the consequences of indulging in chemical substances. There are some ailments who suffer from mental disorders and if they do not consume their prescribed drugs on a regular basis, they would be out of control. Correct your spelling
may be
Therefore
, doctors should raise public awareness about the consequences of using drugs. Another perceived negative could be the high cost of medicines. The majority of societies may present the view that using natural substances would be more effective and affordable.
On the other hand
, a primary advantage of medical care improvement is being easily diagnosed and examined. As a result
of the
state-of-the-art technology and cutting-edge devices, doctors can easily realise the patient's health problems. One of my relatives was diagnosed with skin cancer and lost hope. Correct article usage
apply
However
, she was cured after one year and lived for a long time. Another benefit is that by reducing the risk of mortality people would be more efficient and are less likely to be hopeless. In this
case, they would do their best to improve their standard of living.
To conclude
, it is true that the consequences of medical treatment would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances. However
, the benefits in terms of easing patients' treatment and being more activated
and motivated about living override the disadvantages.Replace the word
active
Submitted by m.r.zamani1376678 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay by connecting ideas more fluidly, maintaining appropriate paragraphing, and providing adequate transitions.
coherence cohesion
Work on a more cohesive introduction and conclusion, ensuring that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made within the essay.
coherence cohesion
Back up your main points with more detailed and specific examples. Using real-world scenarios and concrete instances can help to solidify your arguments.
task achievement
Fully address the task prompt, ensuring your response covers all components of the question and maintains a balanced view where required.
task achievement
Make clear and comprehensive arguments. Each idea presented should be explored in depth and with a strong connection to the essay's overall purpose.
task achievement
Include specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. Avoid vague statements and aim to use evidence that directly relates to the points being made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.