IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is, therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the
last
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 decades, there has been a surge in the number of
women
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 working full-
time
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.
This
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 means that today, most of them do not have enough
time
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 to accomplish all of the
household
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 tasks.
For
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this
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 reason, it is debated whether men should equally contribute to these duties. Personally, I feel that if husbands did not spend some of their free
time
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 doing
household
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 chores or raising their children, wives would probably be far more unhappy and considerably stressed. First of all, if men did not contribute to accomplishing
household
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 tasks, some
women
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 would quit working.
For example
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, certain families where both mothers and fathers
work
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 cannot afford to pay a woman for cleaning or cooking.
This
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 would not allow mothers to have enough
time
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 to
work
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 in order to complete housework.
However
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, many of them would want to continue working as they have their professional ambitions. By leaving their jobs, these
women
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 would be much more unhappy.
Secondly
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, if men did not care about houses,
women
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 would end up without spare
time
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.
For instance
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, in families where mothers
work
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 as much as fathers, the former would spend all their free
time
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 raising children and doing
household
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work
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.
This
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 would not enable them to find enough
time
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 to rest and devote themselves to sports or hobbies.
On the other hand
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, leisure
time
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 is necessary for all people to reduce stress and unwind.
Consequently
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, these
women
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 would risk being more stressed. In conclusion, today, more and more females
work
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 as much as males, and it is paramount to have an equal division of housework to provide
women
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 with the opportunity to achieve their
work
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 ambitions and the chance to unwind.

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task response
Ensure that the essay remains consistently on topic, providing an in-depth exploration of the issue without digression.
coherence
Each paragraph should clearly relate to the thesis statement, with strong topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
cohesion
Use conjunctions and lexical devices effectively to ensure a smooth and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task response
Support your points with specific examples and evidence to add weight to your arguments and provide a balanced perspective.
task response
When providing examples, make sure they are fully fleshed-out and relevant, directly supporting the main point of the paragraph.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are both present and well-articulated, framing the author's stance clearly and succinctly.
coherence
To further enhance logical structure, consider outlining the main points more clearly in the introduction and summarizing them effectively in the conclusion.
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