the main aim of advertising is increasing sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is a common belief that the purpose of ads is to increase the percentage of good sales without necessarily with residents.

However

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, I partly agree with

this

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viewpoint so I will shed light on my perspective in the following essay.

To begin

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with, ads usually directly hit consumers’ feelings

such

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as feelings of desire, wetness, and satisfaction. Since it creates attraction and curiosity about the products.

As a result

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, the quantity of sales climbed significantly.

Moreover

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, in

this

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day and age, various enterprise cooperates with celebrities to advertise their yields so that they can take advantage of the support thought or cheap moment for their idols.

Hence

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, revenue will go up sharply.

For example

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, in just one picture from idol Jisoo of the girl band Blackpink with her sandals, these ones were sold out even though their slippers were probably still new and in good condition.

On the other hand

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, not only are the items unnecessary, but advertising

also

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helps essential items raise their purchase proportion. From my perspective, every product

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

better use

Change preposition

for advertisement

show examples

to spectacular buyers

due to

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advertising manipulates people. It aims to persuade people that buying a product will make them happier.

Besides

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that, advertisers use glamorous, successful people, especially,

they

Rephrase

when they

show examples

focus on selling a brand image. In conclusion, advertising increases sales of unneeded consumptions in a variety of ways and to different audiences.

On the contrary

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, not only non-useful merchandise but

also

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vital wares should make up advertising campaigns because advertising is the most effective and quickest way to enlarge revenue.

quynhtranhbhSat Nov 18 2023

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task achievement

Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement that previews the points you will discuss in your essay. It's important to clearly state your position in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

The organization of ideas in your essay needs improvement to enhance logical progression and clarification. Consider using more cohesive devices and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.

task achievement

While you have provided examples, make sure they are fully relevant and help to clearly illustrate the point you are making. Expand on how these examples support the argument and avoid generalizations.

coherence cohesion

Include an explicit conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your overall position clearly. This will strengthen the overall structure and message of your essay.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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