IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Scholarships are a great opportunity to gain the study you like. What are the main advantages or disadvantages of studying abroad?

#scholarships #opportunity #gain #study
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education is the most important to developing
countries
Use synonyms
, especially for
study
Use synonyms
 abroad.
However
Linking Words
,
study
Use synonyms
 abroad can be helpful in giving more insight to
students
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I totally agree with the statement about the opportunity to get a scholarship for gaining the course you are interested in. Meanwhile,
scholarships
Use synonyms
 have advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion,
scholarships
Use synonyms
 have a lot of advantages, one of them, is will giving a chance to student for applied
study
Use synonyms
 abroad.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
scholarships
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have disadvantages.
For example
Linking Words
, some awardees want not to come back again to their
countries
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
scholarships
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 abroad can offer some great benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some people have an opportunity to
study
Use synonyms
 postgraduate because the cost is very expensive. In fact, one foreign student can reach 35 million dollars in tuition fees. So,
scholarships
Use synonyms
 can open chances for some
students
Use synonyms
, especially for
students
Use synonyms
 who want to
study
Use synonyms
 abroad.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
scholarships
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 abroad have a self-development. To illustrate, some
scholarships
Use synonyms
 give preparation to build a character
such
Linking Words
 as leadership skills, public speaking, and time management.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the availability of
scholarships
Use synonyms
 can have some impact on human resources in developing
countries
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, scholarship providers have a challenge.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 want to stay in other
countries
Use synonyms
. Because the salaries in some
countries
Use synonyms
 are more expensive than in original
countries
Use synonyms
, some
students
Use synonyms
 can not commit to coming back to their
countries
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the awardees find it more interesting to stay in other
countries
Use synonyms
 because sometimes in other
countries
Use synonyms
 can give a lot of experience.
For instance
Linking Words
, careers, partners, and the wheater's very comfortable are too much too challenging for the government,
thus
Linking Words
 potentially they are going to other
countries
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the gain
scholarships
Use synonyms
 are the most important for studying abroad because it is can be helpful in the finance sector.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the government should
preparation
Replace the word
prepare
show examples
 for awardees to give more affection.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure you fully address the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally and ensuring your opinion is clear.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas by expanding on points with further explanation and detailed examples.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your main points. Examples help to concretize and give credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Create a clear logical structure with well-connected ideas, using appropriate linking words and phrases to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your essay, stating your position and summarizing main points.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with sufficient evidence, relevant details, and examples that are connected to the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: