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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is neither nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that providing
university
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 places for a high proportion of young people is unnecessary.
While
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 not all
students
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 need to attend
university
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 because they have different
interests
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 and
abilities
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, I personally believe that expanding access to higher education can contribute to economic growth and improve the
overall
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 prosperity of society.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason why not all
students
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 need to attend
university
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 is that they have different
interests
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 and
abilities
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.
While
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 some
students
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 are interested in academic subjects, others may prefer practical careers
such
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 as mechanics, electrical work or construction. For these
students
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, vocational training can be more suitable because it allows them to develop practical skills and prepare for their future jobs.
For example
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, a student who is interested in repairing cars may benefit more from practical training than from studying theoretical subjects at
university
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.
Therefore
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, providing alternative forms of education can help young people choose careers that match their
abilities
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 and
interests
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.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, expanding the number of
university
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 places can bring significant benefits to society. Many important professions,
such
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 as medicine, engineering, teaching and law, require
university
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 degrees and specialised knowledge.
Therefore
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, increasing the number of graduates can create a larger skilled workforce and help businesses and public services operate more effectively.
Moreover
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,
university
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 graduates often have access to a wider range of employment opportunities, which can increase their earning potential and allow them to contribute more to the economy through taxes and consumer spending.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 not all
students
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 are interested in attending
university
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due to
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 their different
interests
Use synonyms
 and
abilities
Use synonyms
, I personally believe that increasing the number of
university
Use synonyms
 graduates can contribute to economic growth and improve the
overall
Linking Words
 prosperity of society.

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task response
Make your view even clearer in the first paragraph. Say that you partly agree: university is not right for all young people, but more places can still help society.
task response
Develop the idea about costs and jobs. More university places may not help if there are not enough good jobs for graduates, or if the course is not useful for work.
task response
Add one more clear example. For instance, explain how more trained nurses or teachers can help people and public services.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-paragraph plan is clear. To make the link between the two main paragraphs stronger, show that both university and job training should be valued.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use “Therefore” too often. Use other simple links, such as “As a result”, “Also”, or “For this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could be joined more smoothly. After the point about different skills, add a short line saying that this does not mean university should be limited for everyone else.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear personal view.
task response
The example of a student who repairs cars is clear, relevant, and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two well-planned main paragraphs, and a direct ending.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resources
  • quality of education
  • strained resources
  • job market
  • underemployment
  • competition for skilled jobs
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • economic constraints
  • public budgets
  • inefficiencies
  • devalue
  • significance
  • perceived quality
  • universal access
  • diversity in skills
  • balanced society
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