some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is universally accepted that some argue that working in the same collaboration for their entire lives.
However
, there are those who say that it might be better if
people
change their organisation.
This
essay will examine both perspectives and outline supporting reasons throughout the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are many reasons why staying in the same company all their life is a good choice. The first and most obvious reason for
this
is that when workers commit to their positions in the long term, they can get a chance to be
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
higher position.
Additionally
, employers could see employees’ ambition, and trust them to offer several benefits, resulting in loyalty.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
minority of organizations would exploit their employed
people
, which leads them to stay in the same position and maintain a stable income.
On the other hand
, despite
this
argument, what some employees need to do is change their positions and move to other firms. The initial matter to be mentioned is that getting more professional experience can be a good profile for their own individuals.
Due to
the fact that some fresh students open up various collaborations,
this
action would be requested by numerous employees, leading to high salaries. Another important point to consider is that these
people
will have flexible skills because they can adapt themselves and learn new things easily.
Hence
, these benefits would build their personalities and
professionist
Correct your spelling
professionalism
effectively. In conclusion, these two points demonstrate different outcomes, whether employees should work for only one organization or they should experience other workplaces. As a suggestion,
people
who tend to change jobs might get more experience.
Submitted by sasinipapj on

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Supporting Examples
You've done an excellent job presenting both sides of the argument and your own opinion. To elevate your essay even further, you could provide more specific examples to support your points.
Sentence Variety
Try to vary your sentence structures more to demonstrate your linguistic range and to keep the reader engaged throughout your essay.
Topic Sentences
Consider revisiting the topic sentence of each paragraph to ensure it clearly introduces the main idea you will discuss. This helps in making your arguments even more straightforward.
Tone
Be cautious of maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using informal language or overly simple expressions.
Structure
The logical structure of your essay is well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
You have clearly introduced your essay and provided a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoints effectively.
Task Response
Your essay successfully engages with the task, presenting a balanced view before concluding with your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • familiarity
  • upward movement
  • sense of community
  • job security
  • diverse experiences
  • flexibility
  • acquisition
  • broad range
  • exposure
  • industries
  • practices
  • cultures
  • fostering
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • professional network
  • compelling case
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