Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is generally believed that young
people
Use synonyms
should be required to do unpaid community work in their spare time because
this
Linking Words
is helpful for both teenagers and the community. I completely agree that the young should participate in voluntary work
due to
Linking Words
the benefits for them and the public. First of all, young
audults
Correct your spelling
adults
have a chance to learn useful life skills and understand more about their culture, which is not taught at school, by becoming volunteers.
Since many
Correct word choice
Many
show examples
voluntary organizations have an activity that lets the young stay with local
people
Use synonyms
for a few weeks to learn and experience life from them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by meeting several
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
, the youth could improve communication skills and have good behaviour toward everyone.
As a result
Linking Words
, these useful skills help them get more opportunities and be successful in their careers.
Lastly
Linking Words
, volunteers could bring beneficial changes to their society.
For example
Linking Words
, they would clean the streets and the polluted rivers, which not only improves the
neighborhood's
Change the spelling
neighbourhood's
show examples
atmosphere but
also
Linking Words
has a positive effect on the environment.
In addition
Linking Words
, they could help the poor by preparing meals for them or help the ethnic groups by teaching them how to use technological equipment in production effectively.
This
Linking Words
would give these
people
Use synonyms
the opportunity and motivation to develop their lives.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these meaningful activities could enrich the development of their country and help the government save money, which might be used for more necessary projects as well. To summarise, I totally agree that teenagers should be encouraged to do
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
work because it helps young
people
Use synonyms
learn more about reality and brings benefits to both the community and the development of the country.
Submitted by dnquynhtram23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that both your introduction and conclusion are clear and aligned with each other, summarizing the key points of your argument definitively. While your essay generally follows a logical sequence, there are places where the transition between ideas could be smoother and more explicit. Aim for a natural flow that guides the reader effortlessly from one point to the next.
task achievement
Your essay addressed the topic quite comprehensively and presented a clear stance, which was maintained throughout the essay. However, to improve task achievement, ensure that your examples are detailed and directly linked to the argument you are making. Each paragraph should succinctly encapsulate a unique point that contributes to your overall position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: