Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted.

One of today’s social issues
that is
of concern to everyone is
students
are becoming more and more reliant on the
Internet
.
While
the
Internet
brings a lot of advantages but
also
the
Internet
has many negative effects and should be restricted for education purposes. Personally, I completely agree with
this
view for a variety of reasons.
To begin
with, many
students
are abusive
use
of the
Internet
because the
Internet
is very convenient for searching for information.
This
means if depend too much on the
Internet
, it can lead to addiction. In fact, the
Internet
is only beneficial when we
use
it for the right purposes.
For example
, the
Internet
is a useful source of data for
students
,
such
as
students
can search about the culture of the country.
Furthermore
, the
Internet
can help everyone in the world communicate with each other. In fact, many couples get married even though they are not from the same country.
For example
, the
Internet
can help us communicate with family and husband/wife by using video calls
although
we live far from home. But
besides
that, the
Internet
also
has many disadvantages, if using the
Internet
for the wrong purpose
such
as playing games or chatting all day,
this
can affect studying or not care about health. And so that
students
are not too dependent on the
Internet
. Schools need to limit
students
'
use
of phones during class hours and should only
use
them when necessary to serve their studies. In conclusion, the
Internet
is convenient and has many advantages and schools should be restricted if not
students
are becoming reliant on the
Internet
. In my opinion,
although
the
Internet
brings a lot of benefits we should only consider the
Internet
as a support tool if student abuse will have negative effects.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas appearing somewhat randomly. Establish a more coherent and logical flow between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The presence of an introduction and conclusion is noted, but these sections could be improved upon to offer clearer orientations towards the essay's main argument and a more conclusive summary of the points made.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are mentioned, but the supporting explanations are unclear or not entirely focused on the topic. Ensure each main point is elaborated with clear, targeted support that relates directly to the topic.
Task Achievement
Response appears to only partially satisfy the requirements of the task, with some aspects not fully developed. Ensure the essay directly addresses the main points across all parts of the prompt.
Task Achievement
The essay presents some clear ideas, but there are instances where the writing could be more comprehensive. Strive for a more detailed exploration of ideas with explicit connections to the prompt.
Task Achievement
The essay lacks specific and relevant examples to support statements. Incorporate concrete examples or data to substantiate points made and to strengthen the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • independent learning
  • critical thinking
  • excessive reliance
  • hinder
  • crucial
  • problem-solving
  • overly dependent
  • diversity
  • perspectives
  • global cultures
  • enriching
  • unrestricted
  • information overload
  • discerning
  • credible sources
  • incorporation
  • engagement
  • adaptivity
  • personalized learning
  • innovative
  • pedagogy
  • digital age
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!