IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows how much money a city council gave to book clubs over a four-year period.

The graph below shows how much money a city council gave to book clubs over a four-year period.
#money #city #council #book #clubs #period
The graph gives information about the
amount
 of
money
 which a city council donates
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
book
 clubs and
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
club
members
 over a period of 4
years
. It shows the trends over a period of 4
years
. By and large, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 a lot of fluctuations between
money
 donation and the
members
 of
book
Correct article usage
the book
show examples
club
.
Amount
Correct article usage
The amount
show examples
 of
money
 a city gave to
book
 clubs rose significantly in the first 2
years
 and decreased in the next 2
years
. In
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1 and 2, the number of
members
 in the
book
club
 fell but there was a dramatic increase in
year
 3,4.
According to
 the chart, from
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
year
 to
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
year
, the
amount
 of
money
 slightly increased from 20,000$ to 22,500$.
Although
, in
third
Change the article
the third
show examples
year
, it ascended to 40,000, in
year
 4 it fell to 35,000. In the first two
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
,
while
 the
amount
 of
money
 increased, the number of
book
club
members
 decreased steadily from 6000 to 5000.
However
, there was a sharp increase in the next two
years
, the number of
members
 increased to 12,000 people.
Submitted by tonykim09 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, money, book, club, members, years, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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