Task 2: In many countries people increasing talking about money (how much they earn or how much they pay for things) in their daily conversation. Why? It is a positive or negative trend?
The fact that in some nations citizens growing up communicating about
money
which become a hot topic in many individual’s
day-to-day lives. In general, it is a negative trend.
One of the causes of Fix the agreement mistake
individuals’
this
phenomenon is that individuals like to compare themselves with others
and money
is the most direct topic to point out the difference. In modern society, although
people
do the same type of work, salaries in different companies are quite different. People
are somehow satisfied knowing that they make more money
than their friends. Another reason is that discussing money
helps people
build their financial direction. There are so many ways of investing in the financial markets that it is impossible for one person to be proficient in each of them. Therefore
, individuals started exchanging experiences with others
to get more information.
Overall
, discussing money
in daily conversation is a negative trend as it has an impact on individuals’ mindsets. Wages and spending are the outcomes of people
’s work, however
, they will feel anxious when they are inferior to others
. For example
, colleagues are likely to discuss their personal salaries even though they obtain different responsibilities in the companies, the comparison mindset will be provoked after they find out others
get a
higher earnings. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Consequently
, possibly they will possibly feel anxious and unsatisfied with their current situation. This
results in the society that graduates prefer to get a job with high wages at first than their real interest.
In conclusion, nowadays how much people
earn money
and comparison has become a normal topic in our lives. And we live in the technology area. So we can’t avoid contracting each other on the internet world and a real life. We have to be able to distinguish from right to wrong.Submitted by phamnhung275 on
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Introduction Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction and conclusion were present, but they were not well-developed.
Coherence Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs, making the essay's structure more logical and easier to follow.
Supported Main Points
Develop each main point with specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Complete Response
Address all parts of the task. The essay did discuss why people talk about money but could have elaborated further on whether it is a positive or negative development and why.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Present clear, comprehensive ideas that directly answer the question, ensuring that they're relevant throughout the essay.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your response and demonstrate a clear link to the main topic under discussion.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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