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Band 7

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #technology #man
Experts throughout the developing and developed world have debated whether the advent of sophisticated modern technology
such
 as mobile phones, laptops and iPads has helped enhance and improve
people
's social lives or whether the opposite has become the case. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view.
This
 essay will discuss both sides using examples from the UK government and Oxford University to demonstrate points and prove arguments. On the one hand, there is ample, robust, almost daily evidence that
such
 technology can be detrimental, especially to the younger generation, who are more easily affected by it is addictive nature, which can result in
people
 feeling more isolated from society. The central reason behind
this
 is twofold;
firstly
, the invention of online social media sites and apps,
such
 as Twitter and Facebook, has reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically. Through the use of these appealing and attractive mediums,
people
 feel in touch and connected yet lack critical social skills and the ability to communicate.
Secondly
, dependence on
such
 devices is built up frighteningly quickly, which may have a damaging effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle.
For example
, recent scientific research by the UK government demonstrated that 90% of
people
 in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends
instead
 of meeting up and spending quality time together or doing sports.
As a result
, it is conclusively clear that these technological advancements have decreased and diminished our fundamental life interactions.
On the other hand
,
although
 there are significant downsides to technological developments, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied.
This
 is largely because the popularity of technology,
such
 as cell phones, allows
people
 to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers.
People
 can share any news, information, photos and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want,
therefore
 keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness.
For example
, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that
people
 who work or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not. Consistent with
this
 line of thinking is that business
people
 can
also
 undoubtedly benefit from these advances by holding virtual real-time meetings using Skype, which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly. From the arguments and examples given, I firmly believe that
overall
 communication and man’s sociability have advanced enormously
due to
extraordinarily enormous
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the enormous technological progress of the past twenty years, and despite some potentially severe health implications that governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.
Submitted by ashissarker18 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs with specific examples, and a conclusion. While your paragraphs are generally well-developed, adding more specific examples or data could strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
Remain consistently focused on the task and ensure that all parts of the task are covered. It is important to express your own opinion clearly and develop it throughout the essay. You should provide a more nuanced exploration of how technology affects sociability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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